Thursday 27 March 2008

A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE ON RELATIONSHIPS

Hello friends, as you may have noticed this month of March we have discussed a few issues concerning women I thought to crown it all we look at the CRUCIAL matter, RELATIONSHIPS.

What kind of relationships am I talking about? Today I will focus on boy-girl or shall we say man-woman relationship. And this is not just male or female friends at work or church, I mean relationships which if they work out will culminate into husband and wife.

This is an issue which I have thought about for a while and being female myself and in talking with my female friends and coleagues I realise that there are so many things that happen in a friendship between male and female counterparts which may lead to a one thinking they are in a relationship (both male or female member) while in actual sense there is none.

What am I trying to say here, friends (of the female gender) we have to be careful with what we conclude out of friendships. Let us not let our emotions betray us into thinking "oh because Mr J walks with me to work everyday or calls me twenty times a day then he is in love with me" NO! thats a non starter, unless you and MR J sit down and discuss what your friendship is all about there is nothing like a relationship there. You will be shocked that Mr J does not even think about you that way. This line of thought has led to so many disastrous endings of women getting pregnant and Mr J saying " I am not interested in you". So you know what that means single parenthood and emotional trauma that you will live with for the rest of your life. To make it worse with the HIV floating around in our world, Mr J could actually deliver an extra present with the baby, HIV and this means a troubled life for the baby and a bleak future for you as a woman.

It has also happened that women end up making wrong choices in their career because as they plan of their future they plan it with Mr J in the back of their heads while on the other end Mr J is only thinking about himself and you are not part of his plan. So let us be honest with ourselves, if we are not sure whether we are in a relationship or not, then most likely we are not and its high time to discuss with Mr J.

I am not saying that having a relationship is a wrong thing, but thinking that you are in a relationship with someone without agreeing with that person, that is WRONG.
Someone will say "but you know sometimes things just happen", yes I agree sometimes things just happen but think before you "LEAP". Relationships can be fun and rewarding if the basis of the relationship is good and is based on a mutual agreement between you and Mr J.

Women let us wake up and think about ourselves and our future. Lets make sure that we are in the right relationship. Let us not rush into getting Mr J just because Miss P got herself a Mr J. Her time is not your time. Your time will come just hang in there, there is no need to rush, there is always a time for everything.

Men this is also something you can chew on. Well you may not get pregnant but you can surely contract HIV and end up in relationships that are painful and traumatic.

Untill next time, Stay Blessed

Sunday 23 March 2008

ONCE YOUNG

Hello my dear friends, today I thought we could look back to the days when we were young.

What inspired me to write this article is really one of those things that we encounter everyday. I was standing on a bus stop waiting for a bus of course and on this particular day it was stinging cold. I was frozen to my bones and this reminded me of my old primary school days.

Do you remember those days in Malawi when we were going to school in shorts, in June and had to run or play with friends to keep ourselves warm? Yeah this particular cold day reminded me of those days. JUNI (referring to the cold weather) AKUTSINA osati zibwana!

I remember the days we would sit in class with my coleagues and the wind will be blowing through the open windows, the teacher would say that the cold was to keep you awake but ......

One day we were in boarding school and I guess those of you who have been to a Malawian boarding school will relate with me how tough it was to take a shower when its cold, especially those from the North and in Dedza and other mountanous areas of Malawi. I remember to have had some conversation with some male coleagues who said that they would compete on who would stay the longest without a shower (Kupha dry!) because of the cold.
In other words taking a shower in the cold was the biggest challenge especially when you had to use cold water! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Other than that, there are so many things that I look back to and they bring a smile on my face of when I was once young. Going to kindergatten (ku mkaka), singing and laughing away not forgeting the epilogue of sleeping for two hours before going home.
Then came the tough part of STD1 where you think the whole world has turned against you and you don't understand why your loving parents have to be so CRUEL to send you to school. DO YOU REMEBER!!!!!!!!!!!? Or may be I was the only one who had this problem.

All in all school was fun and at the end of the day I look back at everything and see where I am today, I thank my parents for taking the courage to encourage me.And all in all I thank God for the opportunity to go to school and be where I am today.

I am sure those of you reading this blog have your own experience. Lets share it and laugh together.

WE WERE ONCE YOUNG ISN'T IT?

God Bless

HAPPY EASTER

MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU and MAY YOU KNOW AND EXPERIENCE THE REAL MEANING OF EASTER.

Tuesday 18 March 2008

BEING A HOUSE WIFE

Let me start by saying that the last topic brought out interesting discussions and comments. Many thanks to all of you who read the post and also shared with others.


Today we take a look on the other side of the coin, being a house wife.


What does it mean to be a "house wife"?. I will give some definitions that I have heard from talking to people what they view as a house wife. Some people say a house wife is a woman who stays at home and manages the household. Others will say a woman who is usually not working, may be has not gone to school so they can't get a job anywhere than staying at home. Another group will describe a house wife as a "goal keeper" meaning someone who waits for handouts from her working or employed husband.




Its interesting to note that in all these definitions a house wife is someone who is looked down upon in the society of women (I will use my home country as reference). There are several men who would prefer a house wife because they will manage the home full time and may also respect their husbands more because that is their only source of income. As for me I would say a house wife is a woman whom we have to respect in society even though she is not a career woman (lawyer, secretary, doctor, scientist, you name it), being a house wife is a career on its own.






I will start by pointing out that there are so many women who do not have any office jobs but spend their whole day at home and have a lot of talent which they can share with the society.


I have seen house wives who have used their time of staying at home as a time of thinking and developing their career, either in hand work such as knitting, sewing or even cooking. What am I trying to say here? Being a house wife does not mean that you just stay at home, bear children, and cook food for your husband. That is the time a woman can also develop their talents.



There are alot of things that women can do whilst at home, talk of painting for example, sketch drawing, gardening, decorations, all these seemingly small things can earn you as a house wife a career.


I know of women who are house wives and are good in baking, who have ended up opening bakeries, others even shops for wedding cakes and now they have thriving businesses. I know of women who started by trying to sew some small dress and realised that they could do more with their time at home and talent and now have tailoring shops which supply uniforms and other types of clothing to different schools and institutions.




So women, house wives out there, wake up and develop your God given talent.



Until next time



stay Blessed.






Tuesday 11 March 2008

BEING A CAREER (AFRICAN) WOMAN

I thought we could continue on the subject we started in my last posting on "Being a Woman".

The most challenging part of being a woman is to combine career and marriage/motherhood. This is even more challenging when it comes to the African woman. I will tackle this topic with reference to my country as Africa is a big continent and every country has got its own ways of dealing with this issue.

Allow me to loosely use the term African woman here because in my discussion I will be comparing the African woman and the woman in the western world.



When a girl child goes through secondary school education, it seems to be the norm that the girl has a choice of either going to university to further her studies, do a short proffessinal course, work or get married. For those who are fortunate to go to university or do a proffesional course, they have another 2-7 years to study before they decide to settle down while those who did not usually the only option is mostly getting married and have children.

The interesting part of our society is that the less number of years a girl child/woman spends in tertiary education the higher the chances of getting a partner hence marriage. While the more years she spends in tertiary education the thinner the chances of getting married. There are several reasons that have been outlined from discussions with both male and female friends why this is so.

In the first place it is percieved that the more educated a woman gets the more independent she gets and the less likely that she will respect her husband. This is attributed to the financial security that the woman assumes due to her career hence the male counterpart think that the woman will be rude in the household as she would "stand up" to her husband because they are on the same level or worse still if she is on a higher level. But is this true? Well its an open question and I am sure everyone has a different way of looking at it.

Secondly, sometimes women try to pursue a career before settling down in a family because of the fear that when they get married they may not get a chance of reaching their goals as their partners may say "you have studied enough!" or "what dont I provide for you" or "aaaha so you want be like those other women who dont respect their husbands". In as much as this may sound funny, it has been a set back for several women who would have loved to continue in a certain career path.

These and many other reasons which you may know, have restricted women to pursue careers in certain fields back home in Malawi. But what is the picture in other countries in Africa and outside Africa? The answer to this question is open, I will let you as a reader answer this yourself. But if you ask me, every country has a different picture with the Western world being far ahead on women managing careers and marriage, others have even chosen their career at the expense of family, that is they choose to be single so as to pursue their career "at peace".



This is a topic that fascinates me a lot, "being a career woman". I will conclude by saying, women we can pursue our careers which ever field we want. No matter what perceptions society has, we can either prove them right or wrong depending on how we carry ourselves.


In this day and age it is good for a woman to be able to support herself and her family. And to those in our society who are bothered by women pursuing their careers, I believe its high time we reason together with our women and encourage them. The sky is the limit!











Have a blessed day!

Saturday 8 March 2008

International Women's Day- Being a Woman

I could not help noticing today from the topic that one of our Malawian bloggers wrote today concerning "unmarried women". It is a very intersting article and I would urge you to read the artilcle as well from thins link, http://ndagha.blogspot.com/


I thought we could share today on "being a woman". I myself being a woman I have observed different things in society that only happen to us of the female gender because we are women. In as much as some if not most of the things are frustrating, these experiences help me to realise what role I have as a woman in society. Whether single or married women have a huge role to play in society.


So women out there no matter what we are going through or facing, let us shine the joy that the Lord has imparted in us as women. Let us beautify our societies like flowers and precious stones. Remember there is a beautiful and unique personality in every woman and that no one can change.







Have a blessed day and remember you are a woman who can make a difference in your society which only you can bring and no one else.