Nya Mphande

MY PACIFIC DIARIES; At The Marina

2012-01-01T11:16:00.000+02:00

A gentle breeze, the leaves shake gently, tiny waves sweepover the water creating ripples and patterns as the boats rock graciously onthe water, just another afternoon at the bay.

Screams of childrenfill the air as they enjoy an afternoon at the swimming pool, as for me I amjust sitting on a bench overlooking the sunset and absorbing every inch of theview.

A sail boat pulls into the marina, the people in the boatwork hard to manouvre the boat around other boats scattered neatly on thewater.

A Jet ski pulls in slowly leaving a white stretch of waterbehind him, creating waves that gently splash the rocks lining the bay.

Masts strech into the silver grey sky, each mastrepresenting a sail boat on the water. From afar the masts seem to interlockand the ropes weave into each other. It's just an illusion.

Boats of different sizes sway to and fro, the catamaransspaciously thrown around the small and medium size sail boats.

As I turn my head I see Mamoora, Djewe, Strider, Grand blueand other boats which have no names but just numbers. Each boat is meticulouslyparked in front of the household, I am sure these homes don't come cheap.

As Iturn the other side two men chat. They speak in vernacular language throwing ina bit of French here and there. One is topless, he holds a funny posture andis sitting on the rocks with his legs resting on the rocks. As I wonder what's with thefunny posture, I take a closer look. As I scan his surrounding I see a bucket,seconds later I see him pullingsomething then as the French say "voila!" it dawns to me he isfishing. I realise he is fishing without a fishing rod, comfortably with just aline .The other man in khaki shorts and a red cap and beard with patches of grey, rests one legon the rock with one hand resting on hisknee while the other rests on his back. He gazes at the water and once in awhile throws a glance at his coleague as they chat away. They laugh away as thesails shake smoothly from the gentle breeze.

Behind me are two coconut trees. The leaves sway graciouslyfrom the breeze as they expose their fruit. The coconuts hang in bunches oftwo, three and six. One can notice that some of the fruit was picked.

An car engine goes off behind me, the man in the red cap isheading home and his friend continues fishing. A few minutes earlier a car hadpulled in, it was three young boys, they chat away as a can of beer restsbeside them. A young man in fancy sunglassses sits next to me on the otherbench chewing on his mobile phone he gazes into the sunset.

As I go home I realise this is a place where people come andhave time with their minds.

I hope you can find such time in this new year 2012, a time to rest your mind, a time to search your mind, a time to relax your mind and most of all a time to count your blessings one by one.

Spend sometime with yourself, sometime with family, sometime with friends and most of all sometime with God.

Happy New Year to you!

PACIFIC DIARY; The beauty in the sunset

2011-09-21T04:44:00.001+02:00

A walk down the street, crossing a few busy roads and down the hill of a quiet neighbourhood I found myself walking towards the sunset. On my left are some high rise buildings and a few busy roads leading into the city, on my right is a busy highway connecting one side of the city to a marina. I cross this road I find myself overlooking the a bay full of sail boats of different sizes, neatly arranged like pieces on a game board. This is Sunset marina.

I take a deep breath just absorbing everything, there is this inner peace and tranquility that comes with the calm waters of the ocean. I gaze at the scenery and can't stop thinking how great our God is and how awesome He is with His art of creation, it is just beautiful.

I continue walking around the marina, there are people driving in and out, some taking pictures, couples walking hand in hand, others running along the marina. I like this place because one has that inner peace, its a place where you can have conversations with your inner self and search your soul.

The sun sets and I head back home.

Enjoy a peaceful day

Who said Sarongs are only for women!

2011-09-09T12:40:00.000+02:00

Palm trees everywhere, and beautiful smiles is what you get when you arrive in Fiji. "Bula" which means welcome is the first word you hear.

The walk towards the immigration desk is different from the usual where one is always thinking how many questions are they going to ask me, or how rude are they going to be. But this time it's all different, beautiful acoustic music from the local band performing live as you walk into the arrivals tells you that you are definitely welcome. The band is composed of four men in "skirts", for a first timer, it is always a shock to see men in this traditional dress called a "Sulu".

The sulu can be worn by both men and women and it is worn just like a sarong. This traditional dress is made from light material and comes in all sorts of colours. It can be worn as a uniform for example by security officers, can be worn as a smart casual for those in the office.

Walking to the hotel it's all smiles from the lady on the reception as she says "Bula" to welcome you and you answer "Vinaka". Some of the ladies keep an Afro while others hold their hair to the back, but there something that you will observe in both hair dos, a flower on the side. This is a local flower the "Frangipani" which comes in different colors. The locals have managed to make hair pins of the frangipani from local material and trust me when you look at the hairpin you would mistake it with a real fresh frangipani.

As it is said, everyday is a learning process, surely this is one of them.

I hope you have learned a thing or two from today's entry.

Best wishes and God Bless

PACIFIC DIARY

2011-09-09T11:48:00.000+02:00

One of the interesting things in life, at least for me, is traveling and learning new things.

From now on I am going to be writing what I call "Pacific diary", a collection of things that I find and learn from the South pacific. I hope this will be educational and fun to read.

Welcome to the South Pacific!

Be Self -Confident: It's Time to Leave Inferiority Complex Behind!

2011-05-02T16:41:00.000+02:00

Oh wow! she looks great, look at the way she walks, I like the way she talks but...........................

Is this any familiar to you? I bet some of you know what I am driving at, yes that issue where you have to make a decision of whether or not to approach "her". Mmhmm that "her" that you meet everyday and you chat but can not tell her the truth about how you feel about "her", that "her" that you have conversations with in the confinement of your bathroom and the mirror but that conversation never comes to be when she is around, should I continue....

The fact of the matter is why can't you tell her the truth? Why ?

Some of the reasons my male friends have pointed out include:

She is more educated than me
She is more well to do than me
She is too beautiful for me

OK, these could be true about "her", but if you really like her will these three reasons above stop you from approaching her and tell "her" your feelings?

In as much as these three arguments may be true but the underlying factor, the root of the matter is RESPECT! Men talk to me here is this true?

"If she is more educated, she will not respect me enough" they say. But what really happens when "she" is more educated than you?

She will have a good job hence financially secure
Financial security in turn means she can provide for herself and her household

But is this all there is to a relationship? Does love have to be associated with what we have, or does it have to be about acceptance between the two involved parties? If "she" is more educated and is financially secure, there is that delicate element within "her", the one that is hidden behind all that education and financial security, "her" heart.

So what makes "her" not respect "him" when she is more educated? I think every "her" should be able to answer this question. If not I will ask all the "him s" to start this conversation and find out from "her".

If "she" loves "him", she will not think of the education, or the financial security, or her beauty, "she" will just love "him".

So if you feel scared to approach "her", find out if he loves you, because if she does, all these other "accessories", beauty, education and money will not matter.

On the other hand, it is also the action of "him" that will put off "her" and as a defensive mechanisms "she" can also show you what "she" is made of.

So if "him" respect "her", "she" will respect "him" in return, but if there is no respect, it will not work!

Just as much as "him" wants to be respected, so does "she" need love and respect as well.

Its a circle, "him" love and respect "her" and "her" love and respect "him".

"him" and "her" are all caught up in between "love and respect"

Best wishes as you ponder on this!

Things we go through!

2011-04-07T18:16:00.000+02:00

Have you ever taken time to observe what happens in the morning when commuting to work? For those of you driving I guess you have your own drama with other motorists but for those of us who use public transport, we have both the drama from other motorists and that of other passengers in the bus or train.

Some of my best experiences include when people get on the minibus and everyone gives a K500 note to the conductor, the look on his face explains it all. So when he notices the notes in peoples hands he just screams; "ma K50 basi, ndilibe change cha ma K500". The commuters are always furious at this but you know most of the time the conductor gets his way.

Another one is when a conductor tells you this bus will go up to this stop, so you get on the bus, but by the time you reach that particular stop, there is a traffic policeman standing, and then the minibus just cruises past the stop. Passengers start yelling and the driver and the conductor say "you can get off here if you want we dont care" (this is after you have paid them, so they have nothing to lose).

The funny one was when we reached a popular stop, where there is always a number of "call boys" (oyitanira), inviting you to get into whichever bus you want. And on approach something was strange, the stop was silent, everything well organised and no call boy was in sight. Looking closely there were Police men in uniform who were standing by the stop running other duties. Just the presence of the police officers alone managed to get order on the stop. It was so funny that I could not stop laughing. It was the toughest punishment to the minibus industry. It was like "silent torture" hahahahahaah! Anyway the conductor looked at me and smiled. Well one thing you must understand is that call boys are not allowed in town, anyway, it was an interesting experience.

One time I was in a bus heading towards Blantyre so another bus drives past and tell our minibus driver that there are more passengers on the stop in the opposite direction. Our driver makes a U-turn without telling the passengers (typical), then heads off full speed to where his coleague told him to go. The bus keeps going on and on and there are no passengers in sight, after 2km we spot two passengers and we pick them up and turn around heading back to Blantyre. Furious at this we (the passengers who were already on the bus) yell at the conductor and driver who at this time are apologetic. A few minutes later the bus comes to a stop "yatha mafuta"(t the bus has run out of fuel) says the driver... you should have seen the anger on our faces. We then had to get off and catch another bus. But hey that's part of the deal when using public transport.

On the other side of the world, people always look angry in the morning.. everybody rushing to work trying to be there on time. They stop to buy coffee on their way and they walk so fast reading all the information on their connections at the same time concentrating on their coffee in the hand as well as avoiding a head on collision with other on going commuters. Its such a hustle that by the time you get to work its like whew! I made it. When it's time to get back home its just the same thing. Do this everyday you reach a point of just being angry just by the thought of going to work and coming back, I guess that's why everyone seems to be so angry.

On the train people are not talking to each other, passengers either have their nose burried in their books or are listening to their music. The train could be fully packed but everyone is in their own bubble.

Comparing this with the "Warm Heart of Africa", going to work is always the time you gather stories to tell over lunch, about the driver who did this and the passenger who did that and all sorts of things that we see on the road.

When they say home is best I think these are the small little details that make home is best. But trust me there are also reasons why people leave their homes and survive a new environment.

What a life!

WHEN EVERY PENNY COUNTS!

2011-03-25T14:35:00.001+02:00

The month was drawing to an end, reality started to set in that no pay cheque was in sight. The clock was ticking, soon everything will be due, the water bills, the electricity bill, groceries all which needed money. The wallet was open, the contents scattered on the table, counting what was left in the pocket. The few notes that were in the wallet were counted so many times, as if the count was not tarrying with what the mind was looking for. The mind was full of numbers, numbers which represented the expenditures at hand. After a while he stared at the wall, not because there was anything fascinating on it but the reality just sunk in further.."this is the last I have in my pocket."

Chikhu, was a young man, he had a great career, swam in money and he could get whatever he wanted. It was until one day when he was suddenly told that the company is getting rid of his position because they had acquired new technology which was going to automate everything so there was no need for anyone to do the work manually. At first he was ok with it, he said I will find something else to do. The first month elapsed and he was still living comfortably. The second month came and he started noticing that his account was getting thinner. The third month he started counting and budgeting to make sure he could survive the few coming months. No job was in sight and Chikhu started getting worried.

The interesting thing was by the fourth month Chikhu was able to budget on the little he had to make ends meet. Had he done this earlier on he would have been able to save a bit more during his hay days. In the end Chikhu started thinking of doing something else that could generate income than waiting on a job. He finally managed to get a small business going that helped him carter for his needs.

There were some lessons that Chikhu learnt from this experience

Man can not survive by bread alone but by faith in God that only He could carry him through all his troubles
That saving is an important aspect of life, as they say "make hay while the sun shines."
There is always a chance to move on and still survive

To my fellow readers, reality is anyone of us could be like Chikhu... Lets make sure we make the right decisions. Having a proper saving plan for yourself and your loved ones can be the best gift you can give to yourself and your family for the future.
There are many institutions which offer insurance schemes. It does not harm to talk to them and find out what they do. You may just find the solution to your future plans.

Make hay while the sun shines, its time to act, like the saying goes, "tomorrow never comes", all you have is now and today because you never know what tomorrow brings.

Every penny counts, make sure you account for it!

PORTIONS OF A LIFETIME!

2011-03-23T18:31:00.000+02:00

There comes a time in life when starting afresh really means starting all over again.

When I wrote the previous entry on starting afresh, I highlighted a few points but today I wanted to talk about starting afresh on our mindsets or simply resetting our minds.

When we move to a different time zone, we always have to reset our clocks to the actual time in the new zone otherwise we will lose track of time and will not be in sync with everyone else. The same thing applies in life, our minds need resetting whenever we find ourselves in a different environment or situation.

It is a bit weird when you think of it but actually its very true that the human mind has the capacity to adjust itself to the environment it has been or is being exposed to. For example if we take someone who has been imprisoned for a couple of years and then is released back to the outside world, they need to adjust from the life of being a prisoner to that of a free man. In prison , the person had to develop a different mindset to survive the environment, the same is needed for him/her to survive the outside world. Can you imagine what would happen to this freed prisoner if he/she does not adjust his/her mindset to that of a freed man? He will be a prisoner of himself, his mind will still keep him in prison even though physically he is no longer there.

Many are the times we find ourselves in a new environment, new situations, new positions, new relationships the list is endless and yet we still cling on to our old mind set. We find ourselves not adjusting to our new environment. I am not saying that you should change your principle but accepting your new situation, embracing it and accepting it. In this way we are able to learn more of our new environment. Many are the times we fail to adjust to situations because of denial hence we find ourselves clinging on to things that will not help us forge ahead in life. We keep on saying I was so and so, I used to do this and that, how about now, who are you, what are you doing with your life?

We have one lifetime split in so many different portions, let us make sure that we learn something and make use of each portion of our life so that when we add them up, we will look back and say "Thank You Lord for the Days of My life".

STARTING AFRESH

2011-01-29T15:29:00.000+02:00

Hello again... I know i have been silent for a while... but hey its a new year why not start afresh!

It is part of our human nature to have feelings. These could be feelings of joy, happiness, sadness, sorrow and so on. These feelings determine our moods and whether we like it or not sometimes feelings play a major role on our character.

Feelings, when they are in the past they make up what we call memories. Memories can bring a smile on your face, a tear in the eye, a twitch on your face and most of all take you back the memory lane, where each street name reminds you of an encounter, an experience, a success or a failure.

As we have started the new decade no matter what our experiences have been in the past, it's never too late to start afresh.

I wish you all the best in this year 2011, and whatever it is that you have been through the past days, months , year or years, there is always a chance for a fresh start.

Best wishes and god Bless

Why Malawian Men/Women go for Younger partners

2010-09-08T15:33:00.004+02:00

One thing about my home country is the diversity of peoples thoughts, beliefs and the ability of these same people to live together and make jokes about each other.

If you find yourself in a mini bus moving within the cities there is always something to laugh about either it will be a conversation with a passenger or a conversation between the driver and his conductor or just a random conversation where someone will disclose to you their whole life story within a distance of five minutes. This is what makes one miss home when abroad.

There is also a tendency of attributing any slight difference in opinion or a common behavior to culture. Yesterday I was listening to one of my favorite programs on the radio and the topic of discussion was "why married men and women these days are cheating on their spouses with some young girl/boy". In the panel were two men one in his 30's and the other in his late 50's or early 60's and two women both seem to be in their early 40's.

As these people were trying to put out reasons why this behavior is becoming common, one of the ladies pointed out an interesting point which caught my attention. She said that women cheat with younger men because their spouses do not satisfy their desires at home. She continued to say that culture has made it that men have the last say in the home as such women are not able to voice out their dissatisfaction in the home because they don't have a say. So the best solution is for the woman to get a young man who will satisfy them in return for cash.

Another point that caught my attention was from one of the men who said that after getting married to the same woman for 25 years, the woman is closer to you more than a sister as such you ran out of conversation that the only thing that remains is to discuss development like building a house, starting a business and the like with her. So when a man is in this situation he will find satisfaction in a younger woman whom he does not need to discuss investments or developments such as building a house and the like.

Listening through the program I noticed that there is a huge communication gap within the families which has led to people running away from their spouses to find solace somewhere.

Where do you run to when you can not face your spouse? Do you hide behind the newspaper or the soccer game on TV? Do you go to as many bridal showers as you can just to avoid the communication problem? Or worse do you go and find a man or woman who can satisfy your needs as long as you don't stay in the same roof?

Its really sad when you think about it because the behavior of having multiple partners is even increasing the risk of spreading HIV to the innocent spouse in the home.

Many families have been wiped out both husband and wife dying almost at the same time because of this sort of behavior.

What can we do about it?

By working on our communication with our partners we will be able to avoid the serious issues of cheating on our loved ones (IF THEY STILL ARE!).
Spending romantic moments, easy moments with your spouses where you are not discussing bills, or starting a business or building a house on a regular basis helps build up the relationship and gets the two partners closer.
Small things like making a cup of tea for them even when you know they can do it themselves.
Taking your spouse out for a relaxed evening walk, or for a nice candle light dinner, surprise calls, SMS to check how they are doing all these do make a huge difference.
Observe your partners moods, do not make assumptions but sit down with them and find out what exactly is bothering them.
The list is endless, you know your spouses better (I hope) so you know how to make them happy.

This is food for thought.

Discovering the REAL YOU! Is it worth it??

2010-07-20T09:48:00.001+02:00

As a woman I spend time to take care of my hair, my face, my body, or just to sum it all, taking care of myself.

The way you present yourself in public is most often a reflection of how you feel about yourself, how confident you are and so on. This is not only for women but also for men. You know girls can tell whether or not a man is confident, and the more confident a man is about himself, the more a girl would trust them with their life.

Depending of what one’s past experiences are, one’s self confidence may be boosted or can just be sucked out of them leaving them so unsure about everything.

In my experience lack of self confidence can be costly and sometimes really costly that you spend a whole life time regretting for that lost opportunity.

A friend of mine told me a story once, a true story, about two people who really liked each other. They spent a lot of time together and did so many things together. Everyone could have thought there was more than friendship between the two. They used to hang out and do most of the fun things together but in their heart of hearts there was this big hole they just could not figure out where they stood. Sometimes they would think that its just friendship another day it would feel like a relationship was blossoming. This went on for years and the girl thought one day the guy would say something and the guy was hoping that one day the girl would say something. But as time went on the girl was not sure what was going and the worst thing she was falling in love, on the other hand the guy was still contemplating on what to do. And one day the guy came and told the girl, “you are far more educated than I am” and this sealed it, the girl knew that the future she thought was there for a relationship with this guy was bleak.

The girl thought to herself, “ what went wrong? Does this mean what that educational status surpasses love between to people? ” She just could not understand.

My friend struggled to keep a smile on her face as she knew this guy was dating someone else even though he never told her. Many were the occasions where the two girls met, and my friend was just dying from inside and she respected the guys decision to date someone else, but she just could not understand why the guy left her.

It was the man’s choice to leave my friend and go for another girl but can you imagine how much my friend’s self-confidence was shattered? Her confidence was shaken especially that this was not the first time it happened to her that someone left her due to her educational status. The one thing that encouraged my friend was her faith in God; she believed that whatever was meant to be hers will come to be. She pulled through this situation and now she looks back and just smiles at the great moments that they spent together and of course sometimes thinks of what it would have been like if things had turned differently.

The moral of this story is that my friend’s self confidence was shattered due to her experiences, and I know most of you relate to this story, your story may not be the same as the one above but you may have gone through similar if not other experiences that have challenged your self-confidence.

The truth is that each one of us has a part within that can never be changed, which is so special that even if people could try and destroy you in one way or the other, “the real you” will still stand.

God made us in a way that we can withstand so many things, that we can go through the toughest experiences in life, be beaten and destroyed but by and by we can get back on our feet. It may take days, months even many years but at the end of it all we can still stand and encourage someone with our experiences.

That part of us, the one I call “the real you” even though it has been trampled upon and its beauty marred, with time it recovers and its beauty blossoms again bringing out the REAL YOU.

No matter what the experience may be you can still get your self-confidence back. It’s a choice you have to make, believe in yourself and pull yourself back and trust that you can be the best you can be no matter what people say or think about you.

Remember champions are those who have endured and never gave up. No matter how many times they failed they tried again and again each time believing that one day they will win.

So I stand here to tell you that no-one should play around with your life, if it means you have to walk away to gain your self confidence, WALK; if it means giving up what you cherished to gain back your self-confidence, GIVE IT UP; if it means to start all over again to gain your self-confidence, START OVER.

Discover the real you and stand for it.

When a Woman Cries

2010-07-02T13:24:00.005+02:00

Tears! it's amazing how many types or categories of tears exist. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of regret, tears of pleasure, tears of sorrow and many more.

As I sat and pondered at all these kinds of tears, I remembered that between the male and female of our species; it is very easy to see the tears of a woman than those of a man. You ask me why, I don't really have a straight answer but I can always speculate ( I think it's allowed). Some people say that women cry easily than men because they are very emotional, others say because women are soft, while others will say because they need attention and some will say they just love to cry.

In as much as all t he statements I have outlined above may have some truth in them, most of the times men may have a wrong idea why a woman cries. When a woman sheds tears , it may be because of the issue at hand but also because of a previous issues which happened or because of the outcomes of the issue being discussed. A good example is if we take a couple in a relationship, they have been together for a while, they have had issues which were tough but they have managed to pull through. In a case where a woman has been tolerating the man so many times, each time she tolerates a major mistake from the man, a small amount of trust is subtracted from the total trust she had in the man. With time if the man is not able to win back the woman's trust in the relationship the amount of trust this woman had in the partner wears thin. In no time the woman suddenly starts crying more than usual. For every little squabble she is crying, watch out she may just be announcing the end of the relationship. Then the distance between the couple starts to grow, less talking, less time spent together and the next thing you know one of them is not really interested in the other and then its over.

People can still remain in a relationship while they have been apart for years in their heart of hearts. In a marriage for example, a woman may still be married to a man whom she has divorced in her heart many years back. By the time she opens up and says, I want a divorce, its not a spontaneous decision, she could have made this decision years back and now she is just implementing it. And all this time the man could have just been saying my wife is getting too soft these days, she just cries for any little disagreement.

Some people may be saying no way, I think a woman is just complicated. Hahahaha I like this illustration that a male friend of mine sent trying to explain a woman: he said a woman is like a panel of switches, which you have to switch on so as to get the best of her while a man is just one switch, its either on or off.

If this is the picture men have of a woman, then you should know that every switch has its own alarm system and if you push the woman to the limit, she will just shut down either due to system overload or just to preserve her dignity and respect.

Tears of a woman; they are much more complicated than one might think.

A Woman's Cry for Help

2010-07-01T13:16:00.000+02:00

She sat there facing down; her young daughter was lingering around playing with her mother and grandmother at the same time staring at some of the strange faces in the compound. The strangers were a team from Malawi Television (TVM) “Reach out and touch program”, a television broadcast which show cases some of the people in Malawi’s three regions who are in need. TVM broadcasts this program to appeal to the nation and the community for help. Several people who were previously show cased in this program have been assisted and their needs have been met by well wishers who were touched by their stories.

I was sitting at home (taking a break from the World Cup 2010) when this show was on air. Today’s focus was on a young woman in her 20’s. She was sitting drawing on the ground not because she was artistic but I guess it was to hide the fear and emotions that lingered on her face. The TV presenter introduced her by name and the village where she came from. Then he looked at the lady and said; “we are here because we have heard that you have a problem and you would like to appeal to the nation for help”.

The lady looked up and said; “yes I have a problem”.

“What is the problem?” The presenter asked, and the lady narrated her story.

Upon reaching puberty, her breasts started growing bigger and bigger and they never stopped growing since. One could not miss the pain and despair in her eyes. I watched eagerly to hear more of this sad tale. The presenter looked at the lady, he hesitated for a moment for the question which was about to follow needed proper thought and had to be constructed appropriately so as not to offend the lady or the viewers. He then asked the lady if she could show the viewers what her problem was. The lady did not hesitate, she snapped open her blouse and what a sight it was! For every woman who was watching this show their hearts must have sunk. I starred at the screen in shock, I felt sad and I just could not imagine that breasts could grow that big and look so different. Her breasts were hanging down below her belly button. The nipples were not visible at all because they were somewhere underneath the hanging breasts. She told the presenter that she has troubles breast feeding as she has to twist the breast to find the nipples so that the child could feed. The comfortable position she could breast feed was when she was lying on her back. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be (ladies)?

As the presenter continued with the interview it was revealed that she was married and the husband only came home when he had no money but spent most of his time somewhere else. The sad part was that this girl is still married to this man because she needs someone who can buy her some everyday needs. I felt sad, can you imagine the pain and rejection this woman must be feeling?

Further on I learned that this lady had been taken to hospital several times and the doctors could not figure out how to fix this problem. The grandmother and relatives then took her to traditional doctors to find out if this problem was something to do with witchcraft. The traditional doctors said that there was witchcraft involved but they offered no solution.

The reason I have put this story on my blog is to share this story and appeal for assistance. The presenter told the girl and her grandmother that they have to resort to prayer, because it seemed that was the only avenue they had not tried. I agree with the presenter, let us remember this woman in our prayers so that God can touch her and heal her situation. Not only does she need prayer but also any kind of help one can offer because she is struggling to do anything because of the big breasts. She can not farm because her breasts hang to the ground all in all she lacks a lot of day to day supplies.

The pride of a woman is in how she feels about herself, if she feels good about herself then she can easily mix in the society. This young lady has lost all hope and self confidence. The husband’s behavior makes her even feel worse about herself. What can we do to help?

Let us put our heads together to pray and ponder, so that one day this girl shall tell us another story.

For those of you who wish to help in one way or the other, please contact Malawi Television or leave a comment and I will get back to you with the contact details.

And keep those prayers going because the God we serve is able to do exceedingly abundant more than we could ever imagine.

“Stretch out a hand and lend a hand”.

CREAM rises at FCC

2010-06-30T16:47:00.001+02:00

FCC screams for CREAM!

It was a beautiful scenario, a rare combination but all for one cause to promote women in the arts.

CREAM! Women in the Arts (CREAM!) was hosting a musical performance at The French cultural center (FCC) in Blantyre . The interesting thing was that this music festival was a combination of gospel artists, urban, reggae, Soul/Jazz and other Malawian local rhythms. The women artists that graced the occasion included Estiner Katengeza, Ethel Kamwendo Banda, Maria Chidzanja Nkhoma and her daughter, Chigo (poet and singer), Rina, and Lioness. Some male artists were also featured and these were Sally Nyundo, Theo Thompson and Marko Sadiki. CREAM! is an initiative of Blackmore Creatives set up with the purpose of promoting women in the Arts.

One could not miss the faces of other local musicians who were around to support the women artists and CREAM. It was a great gathering especially that it was a mixed audience each with different taste of music but everyone seemed to get the satisfaction from the performances.

Maria Chidzanja Nkhoma, a musical veteran rocked the stage with a Chichewa song addressing the issue of property grabbing in a scenario where a husband has passed away and his relatives swarm to grab the grieving widow’s property. She also sang a song about Africa and a piece in South African language (could not figure out what the language was oops!).

After Aunty Maria’s performance the stage welcomed Chigo a talented poet with a unique style of reciting and expressing the message carried in her poetry. She stood in front of everyone and words kept flowing smoothly out her mouth as she carried a smile on her face. What struck me most was that after her recital, she sang a song (or may be she sang out her poem), what a beautiful voice she had. I could not miss overhearing the audience asking one another “akuyimba ndi iyeyo?” (Meaning is she really the one singing?). She recited her poems with a sound track, talk about unique talent!

As I mentioned earlier we also had some male performances and Theo Thompson who has taken Blantyre by storm, performed one of his tracks and gave us his dancing styles which wowed the audience. As he jumped off the stage and danced among the audience, one could tell that this was no ordinary singer but someone who knows how to capture his audience. At some point two boys jumped on stage and danced with him following the rhythm, it was spectacular.

Ethel Kamwendo graced the stage in a beautiful beige long skirt and matching blouse, she gave us her three pieces to which the crowd echoed. She managed to get everyone off their seats and on their feet dancing and singing away. As we watched the beautiful sunset over FCC, Ethel performed her last piece and the show came to a close.

All in all it was a nice gathering and I enjoyed the performances, even though I came in a bit late and missed Estiner’s performance, I hear it was wonderful. Estiner will be launching her album “Zili bwino” at FCC this weekend.

As I walked home, my legs aching from the dancing, I could not stop thinking of what talent we have in Malawi and what a brilliant idea it was to promote women in the arts. The women artists who represented CREAM! on this day were but a fraction of talented Malawian women. Many talented women artists are out there doing their stuff in the privacy of their own homes, now is the time to come out and join fellow writers, poets, designers, musicians, the list is endless through CREAM!.

What happened at FCC on 20^th June 2010 is an indication that YES Women CAN stand out in the arts and YES WE CAN promote and collaborate with other women artists through such networks and platforms like CREAM!.

If you are interested to know more about CREAM- Women in the arts, contact the chairperson Zilanie Gondwe on 0991674570 and Email cream.wita@gmail.com

Life is....What a day!

2010-05-17T13:33:00.000+02:00

Have you ever had a day where you wake up in the morning and you really do not have any expectations? You just have your usual 'drag yourself out of bed' day, eat breakfast and see what the day holds. The suddenly Boooooooom! something comes out of the blue, so unexpected and just blows your mind.

I have had some of those days, its really nice when its something good and wonderful that happens.

When these days come, enjoy them and be happy, they are like a surprise gift. Like the feeling you get when you are unwrapping a present, so much expectation and so much joy and appreciation inside. Its like a nudge in your life to remind you that all is not gone, there are still better days to come.

I wish you better days and a happy life full of appreciation of all the blessings you get. The pains are there to remind us that there is healing, the sorrows are there to remind us that there are joys, the winter is there to remind us that there is summer and the dark is there to remind us that there is day. Each painful memory makes us appreciate life and see how important certain things are in our lives.

Enjoy your day.

Life is....I know it all syndrome

2010-04-15T11:19:00.007+02:00

I had a previllege to mix with a team of sports women at one of their training sessions. I arrived at the training when everybody was already there and the training was in session. I quickly changed into my training attire and started doing my 5 laps around the court.

Soon after the warm up exercises it was now time to play the real game. The whistle was blown and soon hands were in the air catching the ball and passes flying in all directions across the court. Each player was screaming something, to correct a fellow player or to criticise a bad move. In no time there was chaos on the court, everyone wanted to talk and show that they knew their game. The more the coach tried to say something the louder and more chaotic the conversation went. In no time there was a long whistle blow.. the coach was fed up!

What I want to share with you were the few words that coach said at the end of the training session. she said and I qoute, " I know all of you are great and experienced players and you know what you are doing on the court, but one thing I have to say is that you have to learn and respect the one in authority, otherwsie everything will be chaos".

As I went home after the training I thought of the society that I find myself in today, many are the times we meet people around who seem to know everything. You can not advise them even try to correct what ever they say because they know it all. The interresting thing though is that those who think they know it all, usually they don't even have a clue on how even the simplest things around them work. My point is the more we pretend to know everything, the less we learn from others and the more we don't know what is going on because we do not want to learn from others.

Life is interesting, the more you pay attention to the people around you and what their views are the more you will learn what is going on and the more knowlegeable you become.

One thing I have noticed is that when you are in primary school, you think you have acquired all the knowledge you need. Then you move on to secondary education, you improve on your primary school knowledge. Then you move on to tertiary education, then you realise there is more out here than what I learnt from primary and secondary school. When you move on to postgraduate education, then you realise you don't have a clue about so many things. The hgher you go with your education, then you realise there is what they call specialization in a certain field, because you just can't know it all.

Take time to learn from others and let's not deceive ourselves that we know everything, because the moment you start feeling that you know it all, its time to go back to school because the world is continuously changing.

Best wishes

Life is.. It could be worse!

2010-03-26T09:20:00.002+02:00

Hi, with the weekend approaching and also being the weekend with the pay check, things are going to roll in this town. Long queues at the cash machines (ATM), banks will be overflowing with multitudes trying to get the cash out form their accounts. Some will be going to check "kodi zalowa?", which literally means has my account been credited?.

The sad thing is that on the other side of town there is someone who is always trying to live for the day, they don't have to wait "kuti zalowa", they don't even have an account. Sometimes they even wonder when they see people queuing up at the ATM to collect cash because to them money never stays. They don't have enough to survive on a daily basis, to them there is nothing like savings. Money comes through their hands and it is quickly gone. Like sand in an open hand it trickles down their fingers and they are back to where they started, just themselves and a whole list of "problem" mountains to climb.

We can wake up and say " I don't feel like having breakfast" and yet there are those who wake up and wish they could have something to eat, but there is nothing to eat. We can choose to walk because we want to be fit and healthy, and yet there are those who walk long distances not out of choice but they just can not afford (70 kwacha) to catch a mini bus. We wake up and we can not find what to wear not because we don't have clothes but we can't find matching earings, shoes or handbags and yet there are those where the only clothes they have is what they are putting on.

So do not look down upon the people you meet around because you never know what they are going through.

What a life!

Life is ..... Realising your mistake and taking responsibility

2010-03-23T10:33:00.000+02:00

Hi, yea its one of those days, you wake very happy, or too excited and in no time boom! something goes wrong.

In my local language there is a saying " mbuzi ikakondwa amalonda ali pafupi", which literally means when you are over excited you can end up doing stupid stuff which will make you sad in no time.

Well today I came to work in my happy jovial mood, but something was not right. In trying to fix the problem, I ended up saying somethings which were really un called for. Immediately realising my mistake I apologized and tried to make things right. I was glad I did because at that moment I got the peace of mind after the person I had offended came back to me accepting the apology.

I am not trying to show off or something but just sharing the experience because I know you do go through simillar situations.

The biggest challenge we as human beings have is not wanting to appear stupid by apologizing or just saying sorry. It is a humbling and often times humiliating experience to apologize to someone even when you know that you were in the wrong. One may feel that people will think you are weak by apologizing. The truth is you are strong to apologize because thats a bold step one can ever take. The word "sorry" is the dividing line between mending a relationship or breaking it. How many things, if you look back in your life could have turned out differently if you had said sorry?

Its just my thoughts and I thought I share them with you..

Have a nice day

cheers!

Life is... failing to choose!

2010-03-17T08:19:00.000+02:00

Hi, today its all about choices on this page. Funny (not at the time) when you have taken a shower and you are getting ready to go to work but you can't really make up your mind on what to wear? My ladies out there I am sure some of you agree with me. The problem is not that all your clothes are dirty, or you don't have any clothes at all, but its choosing the right one.

Yes, choosing the right one is a problem. Everyday we are faced with choices on clothes, jobs, partners, friends, houses, the list is endless. The challenge is usually choosing the right one, because we are faced with several choices then we are stuck, we can't just decide which one to take. The big question that is always at the back of our minds during this trying moment is always, "am I making the right choice"? And mostly one does not know whether or not they have made the right choice until after they have chosen.

Life is full of choices, we can never live a life being extra careful or trying to make the best choices all the time. Sometimes the seemingly best choices turn out to be the worst and vice versa.

Enjoy life and do the best you can to make the best out of your choice. There is always a reason behind every choice so cherish it.

Enjoy your day!

Life is .....Chasing for what you already have!

2010-03-11T08:44:00.000+02:00

Have you ever found yourself looking for something while you are holding it in your hands? Mmhhmm, I can see some of you reading this and nodding your heads in agreement. Yeah, you wake up in the morning all set to go to work. You have managed to gather all you collection that you take with you to work be it bags, sunglasses, car keys, bus card, name it. You are on the door walking out and you just can't locate where you left your eye glasses. AAAAAAAAAAAargh nightmare, you are running late, by this time you are either mumbling or shouting all sorts of things and calling out for help from the other occupants in the house. The funny thing is that there is always a wise one who will tell you, "but you are already wearing your glasses". And actually it is the painful truth, you are wearing your glasses.

It is the same way in life, sometimes we complain, and cry, and seek for something that we already have but we just can not locate exactly where it is. Sometimes it takes someone else to make us realise that what we are looking for is already in our hands. Pay attention to what true friends and people say to you they may just help you find what you have been looking for!

Good day!

Life is .... Jumping into wrong conclusions!

2010-03-10T08:54:00.000+02:00

Life is sitting in front of your computer and complaining that the internet is not working, harrassing your IT department and telling everyone how annoying it is not to be connected. Only to realise that you are the only one not connected and why is that? Because the internet cable was not properly fixed to its port.

Lesson, take time to explore and understand the problem before jumping into conclusions..

Enjoy your day!

Life is .........

2010-03-10T08:38:00.000+02:00

Hello again, after a bit of pondering, I thought I share with you some of the things that I meet on a day to day basis. These are my adventures and observations from all walks of life around the globe. I hope you will enjoy these entries for the days to come.

I call them the "Life is.." series. Get set as we take a ride all around the world.
cheers!

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

2010-02-23T07:27:00.001+02:00

Sitting in class is a good reminder that there is still a lot more things that we don't know.Have you ever found yourself feeling so stupid in a group when everybody "seems" to understand what is going on and you are completely lost? Well, I have, and that feeling is so humbling, for others it makes you work harder so that you understand, while some just give up and quit!Interesting huh!Its true, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND, we do need each other.

STRETCH OUT AND LEND A HAND

2010-01-28T12:56:00.002+02:00

I have been following the tragic events of Haiti and it's really a sad and heart breaking situation. In a matter of minutes their lives were turned upside down, everything just changed; it was a dawn of a new chapter. I could imagine that everyone was just running their day to day life as it was supposed to be when the unexpected event happened. An event that took peoples' lives, made some widows and others widowers, left children orphaned and some crippled for life. I call it a new chapter in these peoples' lives because after surviving and going through such an experience life is never the same.

This led me thinking of the tremors that we have had in one of our districts in Malawi. The abnormal earthquakes that went on for days increasing strength with each new strike have changed many peoples' livelihood in Karonga. Many people were left homeless and desperate. They lost all they had, they lost their life savings, and some even lost their loved ones. Those wh still have their houses standing have resorted to sleeping outside as it is not safe to sleep in their weakened structures.

Can you imagine waking up and find that all you had is gone; your family, your house, your job just everything. When a disaster strikes it really does leave a mark in one's life.

I think of the wars going on around our continent of Africa, this is another sorry sight. Children who have been made to do unthinkable things as child soldiers, children taking up adult responsibilities whilst they are very young. Children who have seen things that even some of the adults who are in their 90's have never experienced. These children will grow up yes but the painful scars they carry within their minds will always be there. Life is never the same, their thinking is not the same, and their approach to life is not the same. So much hatred, so much anger, so many memories they wish they could just delete from their lives permanently.

How can we help, is there anything we can do to help?

GOOD MORNING??

2010-01-21T08:48:00.000+02:00

I was sitting and having a round table chat with a couple of friends and we found ourselves talking about annoying things that happen when you are asleep. I am sure many of you already have your thoughts wandering trying to pinpoint what could be so annoying when you are asleep.

I thought I list out a few of the annoying stuff which I found pretty fascinating. If you are a light sleeper the howling of dogs in the middle of the night can be quite a put off and a good wake up call. But this can not be compared to have a furry thing right in your face when you don't have a cat in your own house, yes I was reffering to a stray cat when I said a furry thing.

In places where we have guards at night there is nothing more annoying that hearing your guard and that of your neighbour cracking jokes at 3am in the morning. Its kind of good in a way because you know that they are awake and hopefully keeping watch and not sleeping, but I dont think its amusing for the one who is trying to enjoy their morning sleep.

Finally our African natural alarm, the cockrel, there is nothing that can drive your sleep away earlier than it came than a cock crowing at 2am and every 15minutes until dawn. And if you have several in the neighbourhood you will surely be awake on time.

I am sure you have your own experiences, please share them if you are willing. I am sure we would love to share in the laughter.

Enjoy a peaceful sleep.

The Woman and the Society

2010-01-07T08:29:00.000+02:00

A woman is respected by society from the way she handles herself in public, how she treats the people that surround her, and most of all how she cares about her surrounding (these are the author’s views).

While two decades ago women were confined to certain jobs (thought to be suitable for women), in this fast and dynamic world, women have found themselves going out of the confinement and pursuing their desired careers. This has led to women spending more years of studying and becoming more ambitious to achieve higher and greater goals than they used to two decades ago.

In the last decade we have seen Africa produce one of the first woman president, vice president, a high number of women in the cabinet, and more women engineers, pilots, lawyers, scientists, gardeners, farmers, drivers, army officers, police officers, managers, pastors, the list is endless.

The question I ask is what has brought about this change? How could a society that once had stereotyped jobs allow for this kind of change?

I do not know the answer myself, I can only speculate on a few ideas.

First of all it is possible that the norm that was there several years ago that women were supported by their husbands once married has taken a new turn. Either the husbands have stopped caring enough for their women especially those at home (house wives) hence the women saw the need to catch up. Many are the incidences of working class men cheating their wives/partners with their workmates. This results in the men spending more time and money maintaining their external affair whilst their household (wife and children) suffers. In this regard some women who have gone through this sort of relationship have encouraged their children especially girls to work hard so that they can achieve higher in life and stand on their own. Sometimes the initiative is not from the mother herself but from the girl child who has grown up seeing her mother suffer from a non-supporting husband leaving her (the mother) struggling with the children.

Secondly the issue of promoting women participation in different fields of work within the society has also encouraged women to aim high. This is because this initiative has shown that women also have a potential and important role to play within the society. This has given women a sense of belonging within the society and has helped them to believe in themselves that they can do something to help their society. Some jobs which were male dominated have become more interesting with the participation of women as the women bring in a certain charm to the job. We have seen the flexibility of certain jobs like having a male nurse, a female diver, a female pilot, and so on. Don’t forget that for those jobs where you need a uniform, the women make the uniform look better (azimayi woyeeeeeeee!).

Thirdly the high cost of living has forced some men to encourage their wives to find something to do so that together they can make ends meet. Families which think in this way have also encouraged their girl child to work hard and achieve better. And for the single women, the need to support one self has led to more women aiming high so that they can earn more to make a living.
I must say for whatever reason women have decided to pull up their socks and take part in building their society, let us not give up on them. Let us as a society continue to support these women to reach their goals.

Women, continue aiming high; remember the sky is the limit.

Best wishes in the new decade!

WELCOME TO A NEW DECADE

2010-01-06T15:33:00.000+02:00

Happy New Year to all of you who have been following this blog and those just joining.

I am sure the previous decade has left you with loads of experiences, achievements snd so many more.

I wish you the very best for this year 2010 and the new decade we have started.

All the best and God Bless

Nya Mphande

TWO SIDES OF LIFE

2009-12-16T10:50:00.000+02:00

Every day as I commute to work I can't help noticing the society that surrounds me.

Beautiful and expensive cars cruising by on the other side of the road a man completely lost in his own world of thoughts. The man looks sad and the sound of the passing vehicles does not seem to disturb him at all. His face shows no reaction to the passersby he is really in his own world.

As I continue walking I meet people complaining about so many things that are just going wrong in their day to day living. How they can not afford this or that, how their landlord is increasing their rent but not fixing their house. On the other hand there are those happily talking about their newly built house and their new projects, to buy more land and fields, more cars and so on.

Then I am at the entrance to the main hospital in Blantyre, all I see are sad faces, people coming from seeing the sick, others look so hopeless as they have just given up on hope. There are those who are so sick that they dont care how they look all they wish for is if they could feel better again and live a normal life.

A woman walks to me and says, " please give me the little that you have so I can buy a banana to eat". I look straight in her eyes she is hungry, her voice is shaky and she is out of breath, not from running but because she does not have enough energy to walk in the heat of the sun. She continues " I have been waiting all morning on the queue to get my medication but they have closed for lunch".

As I arrive at my destination, I kept telling myself what a life! There are just two sides of life, you are either happy or sad. Whether rich or poor, young or old, just like a coin has two sides so does life. The heads or tails of life is just happy or sad! Unfortunately unlike the coin, you don't choose in advance which side of life you want.

What a life!

IN A 'MOMENT'

2009-12-03T09:31:00.000+02:00

What is a 'moment'?

A moment can be defined as "a particular point in time", "an indefinately short time", and "here and now at this time". I decided to bring up all these definitions of a moment so as to help us understand how crucial a moment is or can be.

In a moment one can change their whole life in a good way or a bad way. For example in a competition the defining moment is when the game is over, then the winner or the loser is known. This is a defining moment.

How many defining moments do we have in our lives?

Each and everyday we are faced with many decisions to make concerning our lives, and each moment we make a decision, it is a defining moment. For the decisions we make can build us or destroy us. The decisons we make can make us happy or make us sad. There are even times we have to make decisions which will affect our lives so much that our perception of life can be changed forever.

Many are the times one will say "I think I have changed" or may be someone will tell you that "I think you have changed". Even though the change might have been happening gradually, there is a moment when we decided to change, could be due to circumstances, encouters, observations just to sum it all our experiences.

Many are the experiences in our lives and each experience can be a sum of many moments that gradually define who we are and how we behave and most of all our perceptions of life.

For example, there are people who can be very insecure for whatever reasons. At the end of the day their insecurities will define their behaviour. These insecurities could have originated from moments where somebody just shattered their confidence, or the words that were said to them by someone, or their childhood and upbringing. All these happen in a moment really. In that short period of time when one was angry and said all those bad words a relationship was shattered.The moment that one fell asleep on the wheel and lost control of the vehicle. The moment one won a jackpot and became a millionare, the moment one had a great performance and the whole world recognized their talent and now they are big stars. The list of moments is endless I am sure you can add on to the list.

Remember it is all in a moment.

My life is defined by so many moments which have been summed up into experiences that now define who I am and my perceptions of life.

Moments are crucial, moments are precious, moments are meant to be rembered, and if it is a moment to celebrate enjoy every bit of it. For every moment always comes once and there will be never another moment simillar to your previous moment.

We learn from mistakes, and experience is always a good teacher and great moments are never to be missed. Remember a moment can just be a split second, a minute, an hour or a day....

Whatever your moment is, don't miss it, learn from it and move on.

What are or were your defining moments?

UNTIL DEATH DO US PART!

2009-10-09T20:25:00.001+02:00

I am sure most of you are familiar with the phrase 'until death do us part". A phrase commonly used in wedding ceremonies to affirm the commitment of the couple to each other. After each of them affirms their commitment by uttering the words 'I do', the crowd cheers in jubilation and the emotional ones even shed a tear or two. But how long does this phrase have to hold in the marriage, is it only in the church, or only until the couple get on each others nerves or until you find 'new love' (whilst you are still commited by the way)? These are the questions I wanted to share with you today and also possibly hear your views on the issue.

To begin with, I will ask the question, why do we get married or should I say commited to someone? Is it because we love them, because we want to, because its in fashion, for the sake of status, or just because you have been in the relationship long enough and you just want to make it official? Which ever reason you had when you chose to get married should have been strong enough to be worth the word 'until death do us part' I hope, becuase if it wasn't worth the words then one has to revisit why they took that oath at the altar in the first place.

I believe one should get married when they have really made up their mind to and not because something or someone is forcing them to. In this day and age where divorce is so rampant, it comes as no shock when people go and utter the words 'until death do us part ' at the altar and a month later the two are walking their separate ways. One wonders then why did they have to waste all that money, take an oath before God and men (people) and now here they are taking separate paths. It saddens my heart when this happens because most of the times these are people who wanted their marriage to work, and wanted to spend the rest of their life time together but alas! it didn't happen. There are always reasons as to why people had to separate, ranging from irresponsible spouses in all manner of ways to those spouses caught cheating.

Talking about cheating, I think this is one of the major reasons that relationships and marriages have landed on the rocks and finaly break ups. Why do people who once loved each other so much, up to the point of taking the oath at the altar finally feel like they can't spend the rest of their lives together anymore? Most of the times its beacuse one of the spouses feel cheated and have lost the trust they had in their partner. Many times its because the spouse has been caught cheating with another man/woman.

How do we define cheating then, and how does one begin to cheat on their loved one? Is cheating only when you are caught with another man or woman other than your wife, or can it be that one can be cheating whilst they are still with their partner but their love and commitment is with someone else. Here I am talking of a spouse who is imagining someone else in their arms whilst they have their partners with them. Which ever the case cheating is cheatining, there are no two ways about it.

Here is an example, you are walking in town and you meet this lady or man who is everything you have ever wished for in life (knowing that usually when you get married with someone they are not always 100% what you wanted lol!). Anyway so this lucrative opportunity presents itself to you, you have the choice to say yes to go ahead with the cheating or no, I dont want to do that. In most cases cheating does not come in such circumstances because you know that if I do this I willl be cheating (unless your conscience is completely gone). Usually cheating comes in ways we never thought of and most of the times people will not realise that they are drifting into the cheating waters until they are up to their neck in the mess. The interesting thing is that every man/woman is tempted when his or her own desire lures them. In this case people will cheat with something less lucrative and presumably easily satisfies their desire instantly (quoted from a discussion with EK). Does this sound familiar????

If we follow the cheating process this is how it goes:

I am being lured (thought). I don’t care (brushing the thought off). I am going ahead (decision time). OOOPs I am cheating (final decision).You entertain subconsciously, then WHAT THE HELL DO I THINK AM DOING? (Realisation, eye opener).Then you hit the BRAKES!!

Sometimes when we hit the brakes its too late because we are too deep in the mess.

Come to think of it, who do you mind when it comes to cheating? Is it yourself, your spouse or your family, how about the person you are cheating with?

Usually you find that during the cheating process people find a person who thinks that you don’t have a family or shall we say thinks that you are not committed and is acting innocently. Somewhere down the line the chemistry has started and then the innocent person you are cheating with realizes you are a commited person and at this point you have cheated two people.How would you feel?

The moment you take a step towards entertaining prospects of cheating, you have already gone a mile into the cheating bussiness.

Think about it, every marriage has its own problems and issues, but it is the way the issues are handled between the couple that makes a diffrence. If you keep thinking the grass is greener on the other side you are cheating yourself.

Bouncing from one marriage to the other will not solve the problem. We learn through mistakes, and mistakes are part of our experiences, and these experiences make us into who we are. Some people have had a chance to walk out of a bad marriage and land into a happy marriage and others they keep bouncing from one unhappy relationship to the next.

What a life! I hope you find happiness in your relationships.

Cherish what you have because sometimes we realize too late what we had after its gone and we can't get it back.
.
Take care .

ACHIEVEMENTS

2009-10-09T00:23:00.001+02:00

Looking through the weeks past, there were so many things to look back to and the many achievements that have been attained.

I could not help to notice the achievements of William Kamkwamba who from humble beginings his achievent is now recognized worldwide. It is in moments like these that one looks back at what talent is hidden in each one of us and is never put to use. William did put his talent into use and created a windmill which was able to help not only his family but also the surrounding community. Gathering from his blog I could not help to notice the confidence he has and also believing in himself that he could achieve his goal, by creating what he read in a book.

How much knowledge have we gathered in the past years that we could put in use? Most of us have had different opportunities and exposure to wider knowledge that if put in use could be very rewarding, but what are we doing with this knowledge?

My entry today is to encourage a lot of people out there who have so many different kinds of talents which have not been discovered yet, never to give up, but to believe in themselves and gather up confidence to perfect their talents. It does not have to be a huge thing for starters, for it is always one step at a time that a person starts walking and moving forward or backward. Let us take the right step towards the right direction. For as it is said in our local language "fumbi ndiwe mwini" meaning you are your own trainer (please if someone can translate it better please add it as a comment), its all up to you to perfect what you have. It does not have to be complicated, cooking, music, art and craft, dancing, talking, listening, gardening, and many more can be talents that can be developed. Let us not look down upon ourselves, let us work our way up to perfect our God given talents. You never know where you will end up with your talent in the years to come.

Best wishes

A future for the Malawian girl child?

2009-09-17T00:08:00.001+02:00

Having been able to return to the place where I was born and brought up and did most of my education, I could not help noticing that things are not the same as they were as I was growing up. The life style has changed, the general behaviour has changed, so many things have changed. I remember when we were young going to school we used to walk a long distance to school even on a cold or rainy day but we still persevered because most of us had dreams to grow up and do something with our lives. I remember the teacher asking the regular question "what would you like to be when you grow up?" All sorts of answers would pop up, one would say, "when I grow up I want to be a pilot", another "I want to be a doctor", another "I want to be a lawyer" and so on and so forth. As we progressed in classes, others fell out due to so many reasons but some continued on. Being a mixed school the competition between boys and girls in class was always high and this was a source of discouragement to most of the gilrs in class and a reason to work even harder to a few girls.

Academic competition was not the only challenge that the girl child would face in school, as the girl grew and was transforming into a lady, many more challenges started to pop up. One of the major challenges was to stay focussed on studies despite the different forces of peer pressure pulling you in all directions.

Today, I notice that the peer presssure is even worse than during my time when I was a student. In addittion to the challenges I met, advanced technology and way of life, has led to girls trying to find a way to fit in the society they are exposed to. Look at this scenario, a child complains that all her coleagues in class have mobile phones and they were trendy clothes the ones that are "on the market". If the parent is able to provide all these the child will fill that they fit into their "society", whilst the child whose parents can not manage to provide these, will feel thet they are left out. It is when a girl child reaches this point of feeling "left out", that they try to find ways to "fit in". Usually the ways that are seen as solutions have also led to the downfall of many girls, most of them failing to perform well in school, hence not being able to proceed with secondary or tertiary education, early and life threatening pregnancies, even contarction of diseases such as HIV/AIDS.

How can we help our girl child then? Shall we just sit and watch both young (Adolescent) and old men (sugar daddies) abuse these young girls in return for the girls to obtain "status" that is fitting in the society? What can we do to encourage the girls so that they realize the potential they have and that short term solutions are not the answer for a better future? How can we encourage our young girls today to focus on their studies and work to develop their talents so that they can be the leaders of tomorrow?

These are the questions that we must answer if we want to save our society. With the prevalence of HIV and AIDS in our society, there is a need to support our growing youth both young girls and boys and direct them to the right paths. Every parent was once a child and every grown up has gone through childhood and we know the challenges that we face as a youth. Let us therefore take our position in the society to help the growing youth, both the girl child and the boy child and direct them so that they do not repeat the same mistakes we made. Men respect the girl child and help her to get a future she deserves, a better education, a better training, and a better life in the future. And to you young girls, stop looking at short term solutions to your problems and start thinking of long term plans. Why depend on handouts when you can work hard yourselves in your studies and or training and be able to even make more money. Why should you toss a whole future ahead of you for a short term solution while you can work patiently towards your goals in life?

How many of us answered the teachers regular question "what would you like to be when you grow up" and are so ashamed to repeat what we said we wanted to be when we grow up to ourselves because we have not made it? I know there are many circumstances that could have made us not achieve what we wanted in life not by choice, but if we have all the opportunities to make a better future for ourselves, lets go for it, work hard, achieve your best and do not let anyone decieve you with short term plans of becoming rich and making quick money while you can work towards your future and be the source of the money.

This is to all of you who know, love and care for the Malawian girl child. There is a bright future in every child, let us help them achieve it!

What a real "smile" can do!

2009-07-20T23:58:00.000+02:00

A real smile can

cheer someone up on a grey day
make someone realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
make someone realize they are special
make one realize that inspite of it all one just has to smile
soften a hardened heart
can melt the strong
bring people together
make someone feel cared for
make someone feel special
show that you care
make an angry face relax
give you a better look

A real smile is a gift from the heart, a genuinely thought through feeling expressed in a simple way.

Have a blessed day.. keep smiling!

The Art of Compromise

2009-07-16T20:52:00.000+02:00

In my previous entry I wrote about simplicity, how we miss the simple but most profound moments because we are blinded by our "wants".

In line with that, I thought of another interesting thing which is crucial if one wants a lasting relationship and that is COMPROMISE.

I was having a discussion with one of my coleagues today about living with people, be it in a shared household, in a community, and anywhere else. During this discussion we found ourselves mentioning the word compromise. It is interesting to note that in every relationship, be it with people at work, friends, spouses, family, there is need for compromise.

As we all know by now, each person is unique in a sense that we all have different characters and behaviour which describe who we are. The interesting thing is that even though we may be 99% happy with ourselves characterwise we may be 40% a pain to someone else. What do I mean by this? Not everything we do which is pleasant and amusing to us can be pleasing to others, and the vice versa is also true. This is where compromise comes in.

When we talk of compromise we talk of tolerating people to a certain extent by learning and understanding them. In which ever type of relationship there is need for sacrifice and patience in order to learn and understand the other party. This is not easy but it does pay off in the long run.

With compromise one must accept to give up part of what they like for the sake of the other. To tell the truth this is not easy. The interesting thing is that compromise is not only for one partner in the relationship, but both partners have to be willing to give up something in oder to produce a better and lasting relationship. If you are not willing to compromise dont expect your partner to compromise and also with the same measure you compromise for someone in a relationship you should expect to get the same from the other party (sometimes its not the case). At the end of the day there is need for a better understanding between the parties involved in a relationship in order to reach a compromise and build a lasting relationship.

In as much as we compromise in a relationship we should learn to make a "wise" compromise.

Whew! I think I stop here for today.
Best wishes

Simplicity!

2009-07-14T01:40:00.001+02:00

I was coming from work last Friday and found myself sitting next to a lady. She was simple with a rather calm appearance. Trying to strike a conversation, I greeted her and we started talking. The usual questions followed, "where do you come from?" "what do you do?" and so on.

She from Calcutta India, and she had been in the country (where we met) for some years. Then I asked a simple but most frequently asked question, "do you like it here?"
The lady looked at me and with a smile she said, "as long as I have food and shelter, I am satisfied, I am not fussy".

I was really touched by her answer, this led me thinking down memory lane, I thought of different moments in my life where I should have been thankful, many moments which I have taken for granted, many times where I narrowly escaped harms hand but I never even took time to be thankful for those moments.

Think of how we easily forget about the roof we have above our heads, the food that we eat everyday, and we complain so much about our other wants. How we forget that there are people out there who wish they could have just a roof above their heads and a meal for their stomach. How we become so self centered and think only about our wants and forget to appreciate what we have. How we always spend time praying asking God to do something in our lives but we forget to thank Him for what He has already done.

I hope you relate with me where I am coming from and where I am going with this matter.

Be thankful for what you have and remember that there are many others who wish they would have the same things you have but simply can not.

Simplicity! As long as you have a roof on your head and your stomach is not empty, you have something to thank God for.

Blessings

Beautiful Things in Life!

2009-06-13T15:54:00.000+02:00

Hello again.. after such a long silence I thought I could write and share with you about beautiful things in life.

There is a saying that "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" and to large extent I do agree with this saying. What do you consider as beautiful things in your life? Is it the people that surround you, the possessions that you have, the car, the house, the shoes, the gardens, the list is endless. How about beautiful moments, have you ever had a moment that you wished you could freeze and just keep forever?

Many beautiful moments happenin life, I love spring, a season of new life, new beginning and beauty. If you live in the Northern hemisphere you will understand better what spring is all about.

During the spring is when all those dead looking plants and trees come back to life, the time you see the grey of winter slowly disappearing and different colours coming out from trees and plants. It is a beautiful sight. The soft breezed, chilly mornings followed by a warm afternoon with blue skies crowns it all, it is spring! All the grey days of the long winter are quickly forgotten as spring puts colour into the land.

Friends have you ever had grey moments in life that seemed never to end. Moments you wished were over and don't seem to get over? Well, I have had those moments they seemed so long (because they were long) and there was no thought of a light at the end of the tunnel. But you know what, the light finally came and just like spring, everything came back to life and it was beautiful.

I am writting to encourage you friends that when these beautiful moments come, let us be ready to look back and cherish our grey days, because no matter how grey they were, finally a beatiful moment has sprang out of it. I know that certain moments are so grey (even black) that we dont even want to remember them, it is very normal, when time comes, when it is the right time, we will look back and appreciate the beautiful moments that came out of them.

There is no winter without spring, and there is no beautiful moment without hard and long, and sometimes even painful days. Like spring, let us begin afresh. Its never too late to start all over again. You only live once, but in a life time you have a chance to start all over again, meaning that there will always be spring.

Just as a mother celebrates the birth of her child and forgets about all those awful moments, and just smiles at the beauty in her hands, let us learn to celebrate our beautiful moments without letting the past grey days ruin them.

I wish you the very best
cheers

TOWARDS THE GOAL

2009-05-13T20:59:00.000+02:00

There are moments in life which are a mile stone, a mark that you will always remember.
I am grateful for moments like these. I am thankful to God for such moments.

You know even in the longest and the toughest road you may travel in life, there are moments you look back to. Make sure you don’t miss these special moments do not blur them with anger and bitterness, let these moments bring a smile on your face and cherish the beauty that came out of them.

Share these moments they can put a smile on someone’s face.
All the best as you cherish your milestones in life.

A Thought for the day

2009-04-24T12:03:00.001+02:00

Hello again...
After a long time of silence I am back, and today I thought I could share some thoughts.

It is not easy to understand people but if you can learn to live with them, its one step towards understanding them.

Life is full of surprises, and so are people, there is always something you don't know about those closest to you. So learn to handle surprises because sooner or later you will be the one surprising them.

As it is said in the Holy Bible, "judge not for you will be judged with the same measure that you use on others so will it be applied to you".. wow! It is very easy to judge others but we forget to apply the measures we use for others to ourselves. Try it and let me know if you will be as judgemental as before.

Learn to accept ones mistakes and failures instead of pointing fingers at others and shifting the blame on others. In that way one will find a better side of themselves and learn to take responsibility.

If we could have a choice we could only love those whom we care for and like, but have we for once thought of people who love and care for us even though we dont care or love them.

Learn to appreciate every person for who they are and see the best side of them and not the bad side always. Everyone has a good side no matter how bad they may be.

Have a nice weekend!

HAPPY EASTER

2009-04-13T18:30:00.000+02:00

Hello dear ones.
I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Easter. I hope you had a blessed time, I did.

All the best and God Bless!

EVERY SCAR HAS A STORY!

2009-03-20T10:23:00.000+02:00

This morning as I was going to work, I saw this man in his sixties. He was dressed up in a military uniform complete with a hat. He had this bright, straight from the heart smile and you could see how proud he was of his uniform. When he started walking, I noticed he had a limp. This led me thinking of how he got that limp.Well I don't know how this man got his limp but I am sure he has a story to tell.

Its interesting with the human body that every time you get hurt, lets say you get a cut or a broken bone, or any injury on the body when it heals you always have a scar. Each scar always has a story, most of the times painful stories. But as I said in my previuos post when one lives to tell a story on their scar or scars that means they have healed.

You know apart from the scars that are visible, that is the ones on the body, there are even much bigger scars that we carry which may be no-one knows about. These scars are from painful memories when we were hurt by the people we love (d) and trust (ed). Could be our famillies, friends, partner, the list is endless. These scars run so deep that at times they change our whole life. The way we view life, the way we view people, the way we view society even the way we view the world. These scars take a long time to heal because unlike the wounds on the body that can be treated at home or at the hospital, a wounded heart, no one will know until the victim opens up to tell the story. As such most of these wounds in the heart, they create such a big scar because they take the longest time to heal.

I dont know what wounds you have or what scars you carry with you, I can not say I can even begin to understand or imagine how much pain you have endured from that scar, but all I can say is tell the story of that scar. Let it out, if you cant tell anyone then just tell it to yourself once more and let it go. You will be amazed at what you managed to go through, how strong a fight you put up, and just how strong willed you are that you were able to overcome and live to see this day.

The bible says that there is no temptation that comes to man that can not be overcome, you can never be tempted beyond what you can bear or manage. Have faith and beleive that God is by your side and is with you all the time.

The scars in your life can be an encouragement to someone. Think about it, if you can, tell the story of your scars.

All the best!

APPRECIATE EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE

2009-03-16T18:46:00.000+02:00

Hello again, I thought we share some thoughts and insights today. Do you ever look back to your childhood, or let me say your past? Well I do, and I thought we encourage each other today by these words.

Even if the day has been so hard, the week has been so difficult, the month has been the longest and the year has been the most difficult and terrible year and you are able to look back and say this, then you have all the reason to be thankful for you have overcome.

Overcoming does not mean always winning, overcoming is when you accept your situation and you focus not on the problem but finding a way forward. Overcoming is when you accept defeat and work towards a second chance. Overcoming is when you can look back at a painful past and be thankful that you managed to live through it. Overcoming is when you have the faith and stand on what you belive in even if the whole world thinks otherwise. Overcoming is when you accept that you are not in control of your life but that there is GRACE that sees you through every situation in life. Overcoming is when you believe that all things are possible even when everything seems so impossible.

The Bible says "All things are possible, only believe"

In chrsit we are more than conquerers, I believe in God and I beleive that if it was not for His Grace and Mercy, I would never be where I am today. I appreciate everyday of my life and I look back and thank God for where I have come from and where I am going.

Life is a journey, even though everyone walks alone, one can chose to walk with God. In that way even if one encounters the highest mountains there is always someone to hold your hand, when óne is in the deepest low, there is someone to pull you out and when one is so happy and high in the clouds, there is someone to hold you down so you are not carried away by the wind.

Life is interesting, depending on what angle you look at it, it always looks different.

All the best as you walk your journey!

A GOOD and TRUSTING FRIEND WHO CAN FIND

2009-02-24T14:09:00.000+02:00

Hello again, as usual I am back with some thoughts I thought we could share. As you read from the title, today I want to discuss on the issue of friendship.

I am blessed to have a few friends, and when I say friends, I mean those who pick me up when I am down, those who are there for me and with me be it in good times or bad times, those who love me when I am at my best and love me when I am at my worst. The list is endless, but the most important of all is that these people whom I consider to be my friends, they are those who will tell me the truth even if it hurts, because they do it out of love.

Living away from home I have realised that in the multitude of people that surround us and laugh with us, the multitude that we meet on different networks, be it facebook, hotmail live, yahoo live, my space and many more, only few are real friends.

One preacher put it simply that in the world we have different types of people, we have confidants, these will be people whom you can trust and discuss your life matters and important issues with because you TRUST them and they TRUST you.
Then you have comrades, these are those friends who are with you for a certain cause, simply you are fighting the same battle, and when that battle or common cause is over so is the friendship.

Then you have colleagues, these are people you find yourself with at work, in church or other gatherings. People you can chit chat with about nothing really than just the things that you share in common, work, church, sports, politics and all common social matters.
From this list of different people that we meet everyday it is very important to know whom you are dealing with, whether its a confidant, a comrade, or a coleague.

A comrade will leave when the cause is over, a coleague will be with you only when its comfortable to be with you, a confidant will always be there to listen and talk to you, and a true friend will always be there for life.

True friends will still remain whether you be separated by distance, whether things are good or bad in your life, they will find time to be with you, to care for you and love you.

When you find a true friend you are blessed, becuase they are a rare commodity.
I am blessed to have people who have been friends and are still friends and have stood with me through the test of time. I cherish them so much. We have stood by each other through so many situations.

May we cherish the friends we have and also know what type of people surround us, so that we know how to relate with each one of them appropriately.

Until we meet again, cherish the FRIEND (S) in your life.

IT IS WHAT LIES WITHIN THAT MATTERS!

2009-01-26T20:31:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I managed to find myself enjoying a great dinner with a company of friends.
Several things happened at this dinner that challenged me and caused my mind to get to work.

The first thing that set me thinking was when the couple that invited us out to the dinner said that "you are our friends and we thought we could treat you to a dinner in a nice restaurant". I did not know that that's how this couple felt about me. They considered me a friend even though we only interacted a few times at church, I was humbled.

Then I started thinking how many people love and care for us that we don't even know about? Is it possible that there are people whom we ignore and yet they could be the very people that love and care for us the most? How can one tell? I thought of how many people could be hurt by our actions when we do not pay attention to them and yet in their hearts they consider us as friends but we don't realize it. Life is interesting.

The second thing that set me thinking was one of the conversations that we had around the table. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Durian fruit, it is a fruit from Southeast Asia which is famous for its strong odor and great taste. You can read more from Google about the Durian fruit. So the story was centered at how bad a smell this fruit has and yet its insides are so delicious. The Durian fruit has a very rough coat of thorns which cover the outside of the fruit and a soft and fleshy inside with amazing taste.

This sent me thinking about the people we interact with in our day to day lives. Some of them have the best looks outside that everyone thinks they are very nice people characterwise on the other hand you have people with scary looks and difficult to approach and everyone would associate them with being terrible characterwise.
And yet the opposite could be true most of the times. The story of the Durian fruit made me think that there are people who could be the sweetest and kind people behind the scary mask and at the same time there are also people who could be the inside out of the Durian fruit. What I mean is that there could be people who are sweet in appearance but they could be the most terrible people you could ever meet and vice versa.

As the saying goes "you can't judge a book by its cover", I hereby agree that may be we could consider learning and knowing people more before we judge them.

Try it, you will be amazed at what lies within!

WHEN DO YOU LET GO?

2009-01-18T01:26:00.000+02:00

Hi friends, I hope you have started the year at a good note.
I was out with a couple of friends today one of the topics that we had a good laugh on was at indicators in a relationship. To simplify what I mean by indicators in a relationship one could just put it in a question "when do you let go?"

Yeah, that is one tough question to ask especially if it concerns someone you have grown to love and like. Ideas were bouncing back from one person to another with bursts of laughter in between as we chatted.

On my way back home I thought more and more about it, when should one let go, should it be at the flash of a red light or should it be when the light is amber (the red being no turning back and amber meaning one still has to decide, more like 50:50 situation).

In my experience letting go is one of the toughest thing I have and had to do, it hurts, you wish things could have gone the other way, you think if only you had done things differently, it is painful.

Does one really have to go through this? In letting go people can lose their self confidence or gain it, in letting go people's lives either get better or worse, in letting go sometimes peole's perceptions about life and love, respect and joy, happiness and sorrow change forever.

The main question still remains, when do you let go? Should you wait until you get a slap in your face and then you know its over or should you just let go when the signs start showing?

Have you ever had a feeling that someone likes you and or loves you then suddenly you get this slap right in between your eyes that its not like that. Ouch that hurts! What do you do then, do you still hang on or its time to let go? Do you take another chance or do you just walk away?

Well I suggest one has to follow their heart, when you feel its time to let go, then let go, and if you have to persevere and try to work on it, then go ahead and take a chance. Whether one has to walk away when the light is amber or red that is a personal choice.

The most important thing is that when you see the signs to let go, then its good to let go. It is very important though never to jump into conclusions, try to understand the situation well before you make a conclusion.

All the best as you go on in life and make the decisions.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS????

2009-01-01T14:57:00.000+02:00

Friends, country men, brothers and sisters, let me start by thanking God that He and He alone by His love, mercy, faithfullness and kindness has seen us through into this new year 2009.

Thanks to all of you for being part of my blogging community and I look forward to being with you this year.

Well most people, if not everyone make new year resolutions, which are either followed or broken within the very first few days or weeks into the new year. Whatever resolutions you have made, I wish you all the best as you follow them or break them. Most important of all is to start this year with a purpose. Live every day as if it was your last day, dont miss on loving others, showing kindness to others, and dont miss every oppotunity to do the best you can in every situation.

Be the best you can be to others and to yourself, thinking carefully on each and every move and decision that you make. Remembering that its not only about you always, there are other people too.

Learn to appreciate others and make use of each and every opportunity that you are faced with. Whether good or bad a situation may be, there is always a lesson to be learned, something to look back to and most of all, it is an EXPERIENCE.

Life is full of different opportunities and situations, going through everyone of these always leaves memories and marks in our life. This is what I call life EXPERIENCES. You can never put them on a CV for display, you have them within you, chapters and chapters. As you can use a CV to find yourself the right job, use your life experiences to find out how well you can help others in the society who need someone with your kind of experience.

I wish you all the best as you start this year 2009.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009.

How Grey is your Grey Day?

2008-12-13T01:41:00.000+02:00

Coming from the tropics where the sun shines almost 10 months of the year, I couldn't help noticing how grey it can be in the Northern hemisphere especially as you get closer to the arctic circle.

During this time of the year, here in the northern countries during the winter if you have 1 hour of sunlight, it is like winning a lottery. The daylight is scarce and the days are mostly grey (like when heavy rain clouds cover the sky in Malawi).

As the amount of daylight reduces every day due to the sun moving southwards from 21st June to 21st December, one can not help to appreciate what a great weather we have at home.

When I first arrived in Sweden I could not understan why people would run out and lay themselved in the sun during a beautiful summer day. With time I realised what an expensive entity and a scarce commodity the sun is on this side of the world. I learned to appreciate what I used to take for granted like a beautiful sunny day with clear blue skies, a beautiful spring day, a golden autumn day and a snow white winter day. I learned to appreciate the little things that happen each day as it came and just be happy for another day that went by.

Sometimes just like me, I am sure we miss on some of the most beautiful opportunities in life because we overlook them or we think they are not so important.
Its just like how we take walking, breathing, seeing and quiet and calm peaceful moments for granted until we meet someone who cant walk, or cant breath without a life support, or one who has an ailment which cant allow them to stay still, you can add on to the list.

So if you think your day id GREY, know that someone else could be having a much more GREY close to BLACK day. Therefore let us learn to appreciate every moment of our days.

All the best as you appreciate this day, for the Bible says " This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it". There are no conditions that have been put in this verse, for example that "I will only rejoice and be glad in a day when ......."
Let us learn to be thankful eveyday.

Enjoy the weekend

ONLY BELIEVE!

2008-12-10T14:57:00.000+02:00

How many times have you managed to lose something or not been able to achieve what you could only because you did not believe that it could happen.

Yesterday I found myself in an interesting situation, I had to connect between two buses to get to my destination. I find myself in a country where time is very important and everything happens or is done on time.

So here I was sitting on the first bus which was scheduled to arrive at my connection point at 9:13am, my next bust was at 9:19am. As we drove through the traffic, I could not help realizing that I will not be able to make it for my connecting bus, I was about to start thinking of my plan B, that is a nice way of saying I was beginning to get worried. As I was in the process of starting to think of what I will do in case I miss the bus, there was a Bible verse that just came into my mind " ..only believe, ALL things are possible..." I chuckled and told myself "I believe". I was still in a bit of doubt honestly, but I prayed and said, "God help my unbelief". I sat on the bus, I looked at the time it was 9:15am and we were not close to my connecting point, and to make matters worse to take the next but I needed to cross one of the major roads which happens to be the bussiest street as well. Time was not on my side.

I got off the first bus and did not bother to look at my watch, I checked the direction where the connecting bus was coming from, the bus was not yet in sight. I crossed the road and as I was just finishing the crossing there was my bus just about to leave the bus stop, I ran and guess what I got it, just on time. The interresting part was the driver saw me from a distance and he waited until I got on the bus.

Talk about believing, I thanked God for that moment. This continued throughout the day as there were a lot of things that I had to do, they seemed so impossible but the sentence kept echoing in my head "..only believe, ALL things are possible.." And at the end of it all, everything went well.

Indeed all things are possible if we only believe and have faith in God.

I thought I would share this story with you my coleagues.

Do your best to believe, today.

Blessings

A TRIBUTE TO PIYASONI KACHEPATSONGA

2008-12-04T15:47:00.001+02:00

It was my birthday, my big birthday, I was so excited and happy, I thanked God for the life He gave to me. On the other side of the wolrd at the same time a great life had just been taken back to God the creator, my heart was broken and I was in terrible shock.

It was Piya, the same Piya, the God's Marvelous Creation (GMC) Piya, a son, a brother and a great friend. We all could just not take it in without expressing the shock.

Some of you reading this blog may not know him, but to those of us who knew him, its hard to believe that 2nd December 2008 was your last day Piya on this earth.

I met Piya at Chanco, when he came to join GMC theatre, a christian drama group that went out evangelizing and spreading the word of God through drama. When Piya joined the group we could not help noticing the talent that was embedded in this young man. He was a great director and play writer. He always had interesting imaginations and ways of acting which would always spark a heated discussion most of the times during the rehearsal. But at the end of it all it was just GMC.

I remember the time we had to act "KUMASANO", this was a great production which all GMC remembers. It was a play that we acted in many schools and we never stopped appreciating how each time we acted it came out different.

After Chanco we re-united as GMC alumini and called ourselves GMCA. We still had the same goal reach out to many young souls in schools. As time went by with age, most members got married but we still tried to keep GMCA together. Piya worked hard to keep GMCA together with several members who were in Blantyre, Lilongwe and many parts of Malawi, he did not give up on the dream of GMCA. There was a dream of having a film of one of GMCA plays I dont know how far you took that one Piya. Unfortunately, I can not ask you now, but I know you dreamed big for GMCA.

Some of the interesting moments were when we had to dance "Kumasano " on the weddings of members of GMCA. You were on the lead, with the "Kumasano chant". I am sure GMCA remebers "Kumasanooooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh, Kumasanoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

There is a lot members of GMCA would want to write about Piya. And I have put together this tribute on my blog so that all the members of GMCA and all friends can comment and add on what fond memories we shared.

We are separated now physically, but you are always with us everyday, as we look at your photos, as we walk past St. Columba, as we walk past HHI, as we walk past Salima turn-off, everywhere we go you will always be in our memories.

We will always remember you Piya, as one of our GMCA members put it: May the great "Kumasano" rest in peace. The great Piya will always be rembered. He was so dear to us at GMC. He was a God's Marvellous creation! (EK)

Mnyamata wa pa Lizulu, wakwambewe, womwetulira bwino, nyamata wodziwa kuyankhula chichewa, wokonda chikhalidwe cha chi Malawi, m'ngoni woyenda ndi litchowa, sitidzakuyiwala PIYA!

I will always remember the last time I met you at shoprite in Lilongwe in 2007, you were just back from a youth conference in Kenya. I didn't know that that was the last time I was seeing you, in this life. You will always be remembered.

Piya, you were indeed God's Marvelous Creation.
We will MISS YOU SO MUCH!

MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.
LOVE GMC and GMCA

A SPLIT SECOND CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE!

2008-11-28T19:13:00.001+02:00

My dear friends, its been a while since I posted an entry but here we are today, there is something to share.

I was walking in the city where I live, coming from a shopping centre which is located close to a busy bus and train terminal. As I walked amongst the crowds, I heard a voice say "you", I just took a glance from the corner of my eye because I was not sure who was being addressed. After a few seconds I realised that the "you" was for me because there was an old lady standing in front of me with her eyes fixed on me. My first thought was what does she want from me, then my second thought came, do I really have to stop and hear what she has to say, I dont really know this person. But a big urge within me said stop and listen so I did. With a smile I looked at the old lady and said "yes", she looked at me and said "could you please help me pick the coin by my feet?" I smiled and said "sure" I picked up the coin and gave it to her. She said thanks, and I smiled and walked away.

Even though I was walking away from her, my thoughts were still with her. I thought to myself, what if I had ignored her (which I could have easily done), all she needed was just a little help to pick a coin. Due to old age she could not bend and all she did was just to stand next to where her money was. I turned to look around if she was still standing at the same spot, I realised she was walking into the shopping centre. I am sure if I had walked away without picking that coin, she would still wait there until somebody picked it for her.

As I might have mentioned earlier on in one of my entries, I find myself living in an interesting society, where everybody cares about their own bussiness and old people are the least in the society that one would care about. Here old people either have to be put at a retirement home or can stay on their own in their apartments hence the need to go shopping for food. It is possible that this old lady had tried to ask several people to help her with the coin, but may be they ignored her or just did not care.

I am sharing this story, which happened yesterday by the way, just to say that there are small things that we can ignore, or feel like they are not worth doing for others that would make a huge difference in their lives.

I am sure you can remember of such moments in your life where all you needed was just a few minutes, or seconds but no one was there to help or somebody came and everything worked out.

All I can say is that friend, take a moment to listen when someone stops you, in our busy life we can still spare a few seconds, that could change somebody's life or brighten their day.

All the best as you think about this story, honestly it got me thinking.

Blessings and all the best as we enter the advent season.

Forces of Gravity at Work!

2008-10-16T21:09:00.000+02:00

My dear friends today I thought we take sometime to look at work environments and how they can affect our performance. When I say work environment, this includes those studying in different institutions, those working in different offices and departments and every kind of environment you find yourself in where you have to interact with people.

I have titled today’s discussion “Forces of Gravity at Work” what I mean is working in an environment where colleagues are pulling you down. How do I mean pulling you down, I mean working with people who are happy to see your downfall and not your success. People who try their best to block you in whatever you do, those who do their best to hide information from you because they want to be the best, this is the kind of environment that I am talking about.

After having attended a workshop involving African women scientists in Sweden and Europe and hearing their stories about their journey to success I could not help it but write this article. It was sad and at the same interesting to see how far these women have come with their struggle to fit in a society where they stand out as “different”. A society which had judged them by their background (where they come from) and not qualification, how did these women manage to stand out and fight this “force of gravity”?

Hearing their stories, one would see that most of these women while trying to integrate in the societies where they find themselves in; they have not forgotten where they come from (home countries). Most of these women are doing projects which are supporting and benefiting their societies at home and also working in the countries where they currently find themselves to the benefit of these countries.

It's not only women who are facing these kind of challenges, there are also a lot of men who have found themselves in such kind of environments where coworkers be it in research, or in industry are pulling them down. It happens sometimes that even bosses are the ones who pull down their own subordinates trying to block them from developing a better career.

My dear friends my discussion here is that you should never be discouraged by those people who are trying to pull you down. One thing you have to know is that each one of us has potential to thrive and achieve the best. Work hard where ever you are no matter what people around you are saying or think, no matter how much they try to pull you down, keep your head above the water. You have potential and you can achieve the best.

I wish you all the best as you ponder on this discussion and know that you can get your dreams and be the best.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

2008-09-24T12:57:00.000+02:00

Thanks for your comment Dee Dee, it sheds more light to what true friendship is all about.

Today I had some other thoughts which I thought we could share, this thought is also a result of my day to day observations.

Walking around the streets in the city where I find myself in currently, I cant help to notice some people very humbly dressed, with a face reflecting their line of thoughts "NO HOPE". They move around with all they have, they dont have a home, they dont have savings, all they have they carry it with them. To them they take life "a day at a time".

At the same time I cant help to notice those people who have their life going well, everything almost in place, they have a job, a steady income at the end of the month, a home and you can add on to the list. The interesting thing with this group of people is that they live life in plans of "in five years time I will....." or "in ten years time..."

I thought we centre our discussion on the question, which of the two categories of people really live by hope?

It is funny to note that the people who reflect the line "NO HOPE" are the ones who really live by hope, they hope to see the next day, they hope to find food for the day, they hope to meet someone who will smile at them and brighten their day. Even though it seems like all hope is lost in their lives, they still live hoping for a better day.

On the other hand the group which seems to have it all worked out, mostly live with lots of uncertainity. Their lives are filled with the question "what if...." In this case there is nothing like hope all there is is I have to work hard so that the "what if.." I just thought about should not happen.

Life is very interesting these are just two extremes of people but all in all, how do we take life ourselves? I believe no matter what ones status is, we ought to be grateful and thankful for each new day. There are so many things that can happen not even in a day but in a split second which can turn our lives upside down.

I urge you my friends instead of spending time complaining about what we dont have, let us look back at what we have and be thankful for it.

It is always "ONE DAY AT A TIME". We may have five year, 10 year even a 100years plan, but it all takes a day at a time to be accomplished.

I hope to hear your views on life as pertaining to the things discussed above.

All the best.Until next time, remember life is always one day at a time, it can never go any faster or slower!

The Reason Why!

2008-09-14T23:16:00.000+02:00

For the past weeks I have been thinking a lot about the reason why certain things are the way they are. I have been walking in different streets and meeting different people from all walks of life. Some people looked happy, others well dressed and others looked sad and blown down by the winds of life.

This made me ponder a bit on what is the meaning of life and why some people seem to have it good and others not, why others seem to be always on the down side of life while others are soaring high and happy.

These thoughts also led me to think about friendships. I was asking the question who is my friend, how much can I invest in a friendship, and how much can I trust my friend?

Thinking about these questions, I have seen that there are so many unanswered questions in life which everyone tries to address in their own different way that seems right and appropriate. Solutions to these qustions may be good for a certain group of people and not for others.

This led me into thinking of the saying “life is not fair”, is life indeed not fair? Is there something we can do to make it fair?

Are friends really forever, or they are only for a certain period? How can one know who is a true friend? Can one ever have a true friend? Is there anything as a true friend?

I believe there are many different answers that can be given to the different questions I have posed here.

Which ever the case, I think it is possible to have a true friend as long as one is willing to invest in the friendship.

As for the question “is life fair”? Well there are a lot of challenges in our world and in the human mind and eye; it is difficult t say that life is fair.

I would love to hear your views on this topic.

Until next time stay blessed and as you think about yourselves, think about others as well.

OUR FATHER

2008-08-27T13:43:00.000+02:00

Every child’s behaviour most of the times reflects their background. Each and every caring family, teach their children while young principles pertaining to life. If this child is understanding and obedient, the child will take up whatever the parents have taught him or her and utilise them in their day to day life.

Whether it is good or bad, a child will also take on the behaviour of the parents. Let’s say if the child’s parents are drunkards, or are constantly fighting in the house, the child will see nothing wrong in drinking or fighting, because that is what his parents do. In the same way, if the parents are well behaved, the child will also grow up into a well behaved chap unless he or she decides on their own to go astray.

So is our relationship with our Heavenly father. God wants us to take up all what He has done and keeps on doing everyday as life lessons that will carry us through in life. He is our model just as parents are to their children.

Let us look back to where we belong, if we are children of God are we following what He has taught us or we are on the disobedient side. Jesus Christ set an Example for us in his life here on earth. He is the first born of all creation let us follow His footsteps. God wants us to grow in His likeness for in His likeness He created us

Stay Blessed

LESSONS IN LIFE

2008-08-08T16:30:00.000+02:00

Hello friends, this week I have had some interesting encounters which have taught me a few life lessons which I thought I share with you.

I will share them to you in the form of a story so you can follow exactly what happened.

Two days ago as I was on my way to work, I got on a bus and the bus driver leaned to talk to me as I was just getting on the bus. Mind you the society where I find myself living here, is one where rarely people talk to each other be it on a bus stop, in the bus, in the cafe or anywhere. It's a society where everyone minds their own business and are never bothered about the person next to them or next door. So with this mentality, the gesture of the bus driver talking to me made me think, "has my ticket expired?" or "what is he up to?". Whilst I was still trying to sort the questions in my mind, the driver asked me a question which took me offguard. He said to me "have you used this bus route before?" I answered "yes I have", then he continued " could you please direct me which way I have to go from here because I am confused and the map I have is old." I thought for a second, he must be joking, then I answered him and explained to him how he has to drive to get to the last stop which was also my stop. I noticed as he continued driving that he was telling the truth he did not know where he was going and all he was doing was trusting the directions I gave him that he, will take me and the rest of the passengers in the bus to our right destination.

This story taught me one big lesson "Never assume". Honestly I had all reason to assume that a bus driver knows it all when it comes to directions. Here he is driving the bus all around the city why should he ask me for directions. I realised how much I may have hurt or not been of help to so many people because I assumed they knew what they were doing or where they were going.

Friends it is very easy for us to fall into the "assumption trap", let us be cautious of ourselves that we do not miss an opportunity to help someone or let someone end up in trouble because we assumed they knew.

Another interesting twist to the story was that the bus driver trusted me when I told him which direction he should drive. Trust is an important virtue in life, if we have to survive in this world we have to trust atleast in a few people otherwise nothing will work. No man is an island, we all need someone to stand by us or walk along with us whichever direction we are taking in life. Sometimes even if the future seems bleak let us trust as the bus driver did.

Another lesson I got from this story is humility. Can you imagine how humbling it must have been for the bus driver to ask for directions from a passenger? I am sure he should have been thinking about it for a long time and he was prepared for whatever reaction he was going to get from the person he was going to ask for the directions. But he did it anyway.

Sometimes life demands that we humble ourselves in order to get to what we need or what we want to achieve. Can you imagine if this bus driver did not humble himself to ask?

I wish you a great a nd blessed weekend as you ponder on this story.
Until next time, God Bless

PROVERBS!

2008-07-17T15:09:00.001+02:00

HAHAHAAHA lero tiyendera tiphunzitsane mikuluwiko...

OOps! I started writing in Chichewa, that is just because I am so excited to share some proverbs that one of my friends sent me.

As you know it is a long running tradition in Africa and other countries in Asia that people/adults use proverbs to teach some of life's big or great lessons as well as pump wisdom into the younger generation. Proverbs have also been used as forms of expression where the person who is being told should figure out on their own what message is being relayed to them.

So here are some of the proverbs from Africa that made me laugh this week.
I hope you will enjoy reading them and trying to figure out what they mean.

The country where each proverb originates has been indicated at the end of each proverb.

When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all
beehives" - ( Kenya ).

"The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem" - Ethiopia .

"A short man is not a boy" – Nigeria

"No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yam" - Nigeria .

"An old lady feels uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb" - Ghana.

"The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay" - Niger.

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there" - Uganda

"There's no virgin in a maternity ward" - Cameroon.

I hope you enjoyed reading the proverbs as much as I did.

Until next time ....Dzimvere mu mtolo!

WHERE IT ALL STARTED

2008-07-10T14:12:00.000+02:00

Hello friends, today I was listening to the very first recording of the songs from our first album which me and my sister Carol recorded at Transworld radio it gave me fond memories that I thought I could share with you.

The project to record the album "Ablaze Kuyaka" started in a very simple manner where my parents first encouraged us that if we want to record our music they would willingly support us.

To get the ball rolling I spoke with Peter K, he was working for Scripture Union, in Area14 , in Lilongwe by that time. He was also leading the "scripture union band" ( I dont remember if the band had another name) and together we rehearsed and recorded the first 10 track album "ABLAZE KUYAKA".

I write today to say THANK YOU, to all the guys who were there to support me and my sister Carol when we recorded this album. Peter K, you were so instrumental in putting up the whole band and sparing your time to help us record the album. Believe you me by then I had no clue of what goes on during the recording and everything that follows but Peter K took us through. I would like also to thank all the members of the Scripture union band at that time (1999), who tirelessly worked with us and even survived the overnight recording at Transworld radio studio in Lilongwe. Dingi J, I appreciate your time and the beautiful tenor that you put in the songs. My sister Carol, you were the best soprano you sang through all the songs tirelessly. And to the one who was doing the recording at Transworld radio (sorry I forgot your name), thanks a million, this was the beginning of a life long commitment to serve God through music and you played a big part.

Many thanks to my parents for the encouragement to me and Carol and providing transport and food to the rest of the band during the recording and shouldering all the expenses during the recording of the album.

Above all thanks to God almighty for all he has done and taking me where I am today with my music career.

Some people may be wondering why I am sharing this, I am writing this because it is important to remember those who have helped you to be where you are today, and also to appreciate how far you have come from.

To be where you are today, remember there is a place and time WHERE IT ALL STARTED! Dont forget where it all started!

Many blessings

WELCOME NEW BEGINNINGS!

2008-07-01T17:47:00.000+02:00

Hello friends

I know its been´a while since I wrote something on my blog, but I am back now.
Today I thought we discuss the topic "Welcome new beginnings!"

I know some of you are already having millions of questions in your minds, "what is Nya mphande trying to say?"

Well remember in my last entry I wrote about " when all seems lost", well, when that happens it is important for one to look at the bright side of life and that's where todays entry comes in.

I spent the month of June thinking about a lot of things that were happening around me, and all that I could hear in my head was "welcome new begginings!"
Yes it is important to face circumstances in life and also to accept changes that happen in life.

Sometimes we spend time "crying over spilled milk" which can never be recovered. It is important and very crucial to know that after "crying over that spilled milk" we have to pick ourselves up and either fetch for another cup of milk or accept the fact that we dont have any more milk. What am I trying to say here, no matter what you are going through, whatever the circumstances, know that there is always another chance of starting all over again, a chance for a new beginning.

My dear friends let us not deny ourselves this chance by clinging on to what used to be (spilled milk), let us move on and see what we can achieve now in whatever circumstances were in.
It is always my joy to share with you.
I hope you get a fresh start, a NEW BEGINNING!
Love

WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST!

2008-06-03T14:01:00.000+02:00

Hello again, today I just thought we share on the topic "when all seems lost".
Have you ever sat down and looked back or reflected at your life and what you have been through and at the end of it all just feel like all is lost? Well I have. Lost friends, lost relationships, lost time, lost opportunities, lost ... the list goes on and on.

When this happens I sometimes feel so low and helpless. But I have also realised that in looking back at such things, it's the time I see how far the Lord has brought me to be where I am today. Painful as it is to have lost those moments but it is also the moment that I have gained so much more than my human mind could have imagined.

Sit back and reflect on your life today, instead of counting on all those lost moments and occasions, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

It is always my joy to share my thoughts with you. I hope you have been uplifted today.
Stay blessed

GLOBAL DAY OF PRAYER

2008-05-13T23:25:00.000+02:00

Dear All

I mentioned in my last posting that last weekend was the Global Day of Prayer http://www.globaldayofprayer.com/

We (me and my friends) had a great time together following the prayers on God TV and also praying together for the nation of Israel on its 60th birthday and also for several countries around the globe.

I have inserted a banner on the global day of prayer. I hope you will be part of it to pray for your nations and also other nations of the world.

May you be blessed as you lift others in prayer to the Almighty God.

Until next time PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens)

Blessings

DO YOU HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

2008-05-09T01:01:00.000+02:00

My dear friends, it’s been a while since I communicated to you.
This weekend hosts the global day of prayer and I thought our topic of discussion should also lean towards that.

Today I thought we dwell on the question “Do you have a personal relationship?”
I know some of you have already started asking the question “with whom?”
Well, I will begin by saying that I am a Christian, a believer in the almighty GOD creator of heaven and earth. I was born in a Christian family and my parents made sure they taught us the word of God through Bible stories and also taking us to church along with them. As I grew up I realized that my parents would encourage me to go to church but the decision was now mine whether I wanted to go or not. I had questions like why do I have to go to church? Is it necessary? What does going to church benefit me?

With all these unanswered questions lingering in my mind, one day in my adult Sunday school our teacher mentioned something which made all the difference and answered the questions that were in my head. He talked about having a personal relationship with God. He said you can be born in a Christian family, your parents can be pastors of the largest congregation, you may be the most well behaved, kind, generous, good hearted person in the world but that does not mean that you know God. What does knowing God mean? It means having a personal relationship with Him. Then what does it mean to have a personal relationship with God? The Holy Bible says “if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and God raised him from the dead than you will be saved” (Romans 10:10). A personal relationship begins by believing in someone, knowing them on a personal level, otherwise there is no relationship. If we take an example of our day to day life, those people whom we call friends, it’s not just any other person, they are people we have grown to know and have developed a personal relationship with them. In the same way that is what we have to do if we want to have a personal relationship with God; we have to be interested to learn more about Him, getting close to Him and believing in Him, spend time talking to Him in prayer and telling Him what is within our heart.
Remember it is about a personal relationship, do you have a personal relationship with God or you are still in the crowd of having a church going habit because that is what you do on a Sunday? In this fast and changing world it is important to know what you believe in otherwise you will be tossed to and fro by winds of corrupt messages that do not glorify the LIVING Almighty God.

Mind you I am not saying that it is wrong to go to church but we have to know why we really do it.

My prayer to all of us today is that may we develop that personal relationship with God, let us know Him, and trust me you will never regret.
Until we meet again remain blessed. It is never too late “if you confess Jesus is Lord and believe that God raised him up from the dead” you have began your journey towards developing a personal relationship with God.
Let us join together in the Global prayers lifting our Nations to God.

YOU CAN PLAN.. BUT WHO IS IN CONTROL???

2008-04-11T13:17:00.000+02:00

During the month of March I addressed a few issues concerning women, and this month we will look at day to day living. I thought we start this series by pondering on "who is in contro?"

Lets start by looking at this quote from the bible "Proverbs 16 vs 9 : In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps"

What have you planned for this year? You know when the year starts we always have what is called "New year resolutions", which some people stick to up to the end of the year, while others kind of lose track of their resolutions a few weeks or days into the new year.

So I ask the question again what plans do you have for this year, is it to get a good job, get a good house, find a spouse, get closer to God the list is endless.

What steps are we taking to fulfill our plans? Some of us could be working very hard to earn money to help us achieve what we want, others could be even trying to get contacts so that they can have a good ground to execute their plans, while still others are on their knees praying that God should see them through their plans. It is interesting to note how man can plan a lot of things and think that they are in control and suddenly it dawns that they are not so much in control or may be not in control at all.

Well the quote from proverbs 19 vs 9 reminds me that everyday no matter what I plan and think and wish to do, there is someone greater than I who orders my steps all the way and makes sure that the plan goes well. The interesting part is that God even adds into the plan those points you missed during the planning and makes things even better.

I will leave you with the question who is in CONTROL in your life??

Remain Blessed until we meet again right here...

A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE ON RELATIONSHIPS

2008-03-27T20:40:00.000+02:00

Hello friends, as you may have noticed this month of March we have discussed a few issues concerning women I thought to crown it all we look at the CRUCIAL matter, RELATIONSHIPS.

What kind of relationships am I talking about? Today I will focus on boy-girl or shall we say man-woman relationship. And this is not just male or female friends at work or church, I mean relationships which if they work out will culminate into husband and wife.

This is an issue which I have thought about for a while and being female myself and in talking with my female friends and coleagues I realise that there are so many things that happen in a friendship between male and female counterparts which may lead to a one thinking they are in a relationship (both male or female member) while in actual sense there is none.

What am I trying to say here, friends (of the female gender) we have to be careful with what we conclude out of friendships. Let us not let our emotions betray us into thinking "oh because Mr J walks with me to work everyday or calls me twenty times a day then he is in love with me" NO! thats a non starter, unless you and MR J sit down and discuss what your friendship is all about there is nothing like a relationship there. You will be shocked that Mr J does not even think about you that way. This line of thought has led to so many disastrous endings of women getting pregnant and Mr J saying " I am not interested in you". So you know what that means single parenthood and emotional trauma that you will live with for the rest of your life. To make it worse with the HIV floating around in our world, Mr J could actually deliver an extra present with the baby, HIV and this means a troubled life for the baby and a bleak future for you as a woman.

It has also happened that women end up making wrong choices in their career because as they plan of their future they plan it with Mr J in the back of their heads while on the other end Mr J is only thinking about himself and you are not part of his plan. So let us be honest with ourselves, if we are not sure whether we are in a relationship or not, then most likely we are not and its high time to discuss with Mr J.

I am not saying that having a relationship is a wrong thing, but thinking that you are in a relationship with someone without agreeing with that person, that is WRONG.
Someone will say "but you know sometimes things just happen", yes I agree sometimes things just happen but think before you "LEAP". Relationships can be fun and rewarding if the basis of the relationship is good and is based on a mutual agreement between you and Mr J.

Women let us wake up and think about ourselves and our future. Lets make sure that we are in the right relationship. Let us not rush into getting Mr J just because Miss P got herself a Mr J. Her time is not your time. Your time will come just hang in there, there is no need to rush, there is always a time for everything.

Men this is also something you can chew on. Well you may not get pregnant but you can surely contract HIV and end up in relationships that are painful and traumatic.

Untill next time, Stay Blessed

ONCE YOUNG

2008-03-23T23:33:00.000+02:00

Hello my dear friends, today I thought we could look back to the days when we were young.

What inspired me to write this article is really one of those things that we encounter everyday. I was standing on a bus stop waiting for a bus of course and on this particular day it was stinging cold. I was frozen to my bones and this reminded me of my old primary school days.

Do you remember those days in Malawi when we were going to school in shorts, in June and had to run or play with friends to keep ourselves warm? Yeah this particular cold day reminded me of those days. JUNI (referring to the cold weather) AKUTSINA osati zibwana!

I remember the days we would sit in class with my coleagues and the wind will be blowing through the open windows, the teacher would say that the cold was to keep you awake but ......

One day we were in boarding school and I guess those of you who have been to a Malawian boarding school will relate with me how tough it was to take a shower when its cold, especially those from the North and in Dedza and other mountanous areas of Malawi. I remember to have had some conversation with some male coleagues who said that they would compete on who would stay the longest without a shower (Kupha dry!) because of the cold.
In other words taking a shower in the cold was the biggest challenge especially when you had to use cold water! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Other than that, there are so many things that I look back to and they bring a smile on my face of when I was once young. Going to kindergatten (ku mkaka), singing and laughing away not forgeting the epilogue of sleeping for two hours before going home.
Then came the tough part of STD1 where you think the whole world has turned against you and you don't understand why your loving parents have to be so CRUEL to send you to school. DO YOU REMEBER!!!!!!!!!!!? Or may be I was the only one who had this problem.

All in all school was fun and at the end of the day I look back at everything and see where I am today, I thank my parents for taking the courage to encourage me.And all in all I thank God for the opportunity to go to school and be where I am today.

I am sure those of you reading this blog have your own experience. Lets share it and laugh together.

WE WERE ONCE YOUNG ISN'T IT?

God Bless

HAPPY EASTER

2008-03-23T23:28:00.000+02:00

MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU and MAY YOU KNOW AND EXPERIENCE THE REAL MEANING OF EASTER.

BEING A HOUSE WIFE

2008-03-18T12:44:00.000+02:00

Let me start by saying that the last topic brought out interesting discussions and comments. Many thanks to all of you who read the post and also shared with others.

Today we take a look on the other side of the coin, being a house wife.

What does it mean to be a "house wife"?. I will give some definitions that I have heard from talking to people what they view as a house wife. Some people say a house wife is a woman who stays at home and manages the household. Others will say a woman who is usually not working, may be has not gone to school so they can't get a job anywhere than staying at home. Another group will describe a house wife as a "goal keeper" meaning someone who waits for handouts from her working or employed husband.

Its interesting to note that in all these definitions a house wife is someone who is looked down upon in the society of women (I will use my home country as reference). There are several men who would prefer a house wife because they will manage the home full time and may also respect their husbands more because that is their only source of income. As for me I would say a house wife is a woman whom we have to respect in society even though she is not a career woman (lawyer, secretary, doctor, scientist, you name it), being a house wife is a career on its own.

I will start by pointing out that there are so many women who do not have any office jobs but spend their whole day at home and have a lot of talent which they can share with the society.

I have seen house wives who have used their time of staying at home as a time of thinking and developing their career, either in hand work such as knitting, sewing or even cooking. What am I trying to say here? Being a house wife does not mean that you just stay at home, bear children, and cook food for your husband. That is the time a woman can also develop their talents.

There are alot of things that women can do whilst at home, talk of painting for example, sketch drawing, gardening, decorations, all these seemingly small things can earn you as a house wife a career.

I know of women who are house wives and are good in baking, who have ended up opening bakeries, others even shops for wedding cakes and now they have thriving businesses. I know of women who started by trying to sew some small dress and realised that they could do more with their time at home and talent and now have tailoring shops which supply uniforms and other types of clothing to different schools and institutions.

So women, house wives out there, wake up and develop your God given talent.

Until next time

stay Blessed.

BEING A CAREER (AFRICAN) WOMAN

2008-03-11T01:46:00.000+02:00

I thought we could continue on the subject we started in my last posting on "Being a Woman".

The most challenging part of being a woman is to combine career and marriage/motherhood. This is even more challenging when it comes to the African woman. I will tackle this topic with reference to my country as Africa is a big continent and every country has got its own ways of dealing with this issue.

Allow me to loosely use the term African woman here because in my discussion I will be comparing the African woman and the woman in the western world.

When a girl child goes through secondary school education, it seems to be the norm that the girl has a choice of either going to university to further her studies, do a short proffessinal course, work or get married. For those who are fortunate to go to university or do a proffesional course, they have another 2-7 years to study before they decide to settle down while those who did not usually the only option is mostly getting married and have children.

The interesting part of our society is that the less number of years a girl child/woman spends in tertiary education the higher the chances of getting a partner hence marriage. While the more years she spends in tertiary education the thinner the chances of getting married. There are several reasons that have been outlined from discussions with both male and female friends why this is so.

In the first place it is percieved that the more educated a woman gets the more independent she gets and the less likely that she will respect her husband. This is attributed to the financial security that the woman assumes due to her career hence the male counterpart think that the woman will be rude in the household as she would "stand up" to her husband because they are on the same level or worse still if she is on a higher level. But is this true? Well its an open question and I am sure everyone has a different way of looking at it.

Secondly, sometimes women try to pursue a career before settling down in a family because of the fear that when they get married they may not get a chance of reaching their goals as their partners may say "you have studied enough!" or "what dont I provide for you" or "aaaha so you want be like those other women who dont respect their husbands". In as much as this may sound funny, it has been a set back for several women who would have loved to continue in a certain career path.

These and many other reasons which you may know, have restricted women to pursue careers in certain fields back home in Malawi. But what is the picture in other countries in Africa and outside Africa? The answer to this question is open, I will let you as a reader answer this yourself. But if you ask me, every country has a different picture with the Western world being far ahead on women managing careers and marriage, others have even chosen their career at the expense of family, that is they choose to be single so as to pursue their career "at peace".

This is a topic that fascinates me a lot, "being a career woman". I will conclude by saying, women we can pursue our careers which ever field we want. No matter what perceptions society has, we can either prove them right or wrong depending on how we carry ourselves.

In this day and age it is good for a woman to be able to support herself and her family. And to those in our society who are bothered by women pursuing their careers, I believe its high time we reason together with our women and encourage them. The sky is the limit!

Have a blessed day!

International Women's Day- Being a Woman

2008-03-08T23:57:00.000+02:00

I could not help noticing today from the topic that one of our Malawian bloggers wrote today concerning "unmarried women". It is a very intersting article and I would urge you to read the artilcle as well from thins link, http://ndagha.blogspot.com/

I thought we could share today on "being a woman". I myself being a woman I have observed different things in society that only happen to us of the female gender because we are women. In as much as some if not most of the things are frustrating, these experiences help me to realise what role I have as a woman in society. Whether single or married women have a huge role to play in society.

So women out there no matter what we are going through or facing, let us shine the joy that the Lord has imparted in us as women. Let us beautify our societies like flowers and precious stones. Remember there is a beautiful and unique personality in every woman and that no one can change.

Have a blessed day and remember you are a woman who can make a difference in your society which only you can bring and no one else.

WELCOME 2008

2008-02-23T22:53:00.000+02:00

Hello again, it has been a while since I wrote but here I am again.

The year 2008 has started with so many different things happening. Some joyous others painful and heart breaking but in everything I give thanks to the almighty God.

Today we had a great bible sharing with my coleagues and different topic were shared.

I wanted to share a song with you that blessed my heart today. I hope it will uplift you as well.

The song goes:

"Bless the Lord, oh my soul

and all that is within me

bless His holy name.

He (God) has done great things

Bless His holy name".

When I sang this song I thought of all the good things, challenging things, not so easy to accept things, the list goes on and yet I still had to say " God has done great things and I will bless His holy name".

Have a good day

HAPPY 2008?

2008-01-03T18:17:00.000+02:00

Hello again

This is another year, 2008, we thank God for carrying us through to the new year.

I don't have so much to say than to wish you all a blessed 2008.

Yes its the begining of another year, only God knows what this year holds for each and everyone of us. In all you do put God first and through those ups and downs of life remember God is always with you.

Remember the past is there to learn from, the present is here for us to make a difference and the future is there for us to have hope!

Looking forward to keeping in touch with all of you this year.

God Bless

LOOKING BACK AT 2007

2007-12-27T23:49:00.000+02:00

Its amazing how the year goes by so quickly, well one can argue that its relative I will not justify myself further.

Its yet that time of the year again CHRISTMAS and NEW YEAR, the end of the year. Time to look back and reflect on what we have achieved and what we have failed to achieve. A time to reflect on the events that have happened throughout the year. Its very easy to focus on our failures than achievements as mostly failures and shortfalls are not as easy to swallow as sucesses. The most tough thing that one has to face at this time of the year is the remembrance of those loved ones who have passed on in the course of the year as well as missing their company during the season. This is one of the toughest thing that we face in life, CHANGE and accepting both the good things and sad or bad things that we have experienced.

My word of encouragement today is that whatever we are facing, whatever we have gone through, whatever we have achieved this year, be it good or bad or painful, let us not dwell on the negative side but consider the positive outcomes that could spring out of that situation.

Life is full experiences and the different experiences we have make our life story.

Let us keep on moving no matter what we encounter for at the end these experiences make our life story. How do we want our life story to be told?

Something to chew on, Proverbs 3 vs 5-6 " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight"

I WISH YOU ALL A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY 2008.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

WHEN YOU HAVE HOPE......

2007-12-12T17:10:00.000+02:00

Hello again, it is yet another day with all that it brings. Today I want to talk about HOPE. It is part of our human nature to hope for something, most of the time we hope for good things. But what happens when what we hoped for does not come to pass? Heart breaks, dreams shattered, pain and so many other conditions that accompany the different states of reaction that I just mentioned above.

My message today is so simple but not the easiest to accomplish. Well I will say with HOPE one can climb the highest mountain, can find a way out of the deepest and darkest valleys of life. With Hope all things are possible but the main thing is where have you placed your HOPE? Where one places there HOPE also matters. Check where your HOPE is, is it in a human being, some god, or in God.

The only HOPE that has worked for me is in GOD. If I would give a recommendation, thats the one I would recommend for you my dear coleagues.

Till we meet again, remember THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE WHATEVER THE SITUATION MAY BE.

ALL IN NATURE

2007-11-23T18:48:00.000+02:00

Hello and welcome, I am glad to have you visit my blog. I have just been thinking a bit about what surrounds me. Its amazing how many things surround us everyday some of which are good and appealing to the human eyes and others not so nice.

People and nature are the things that we see almost everyday, what impact do they have on our daily life, lets say mood, and so on? To me, my surrounding tells me a lot, I have come to appreciate so many things that exist around me just the knowledge that these things are part of my life. Have you ever sat and observed the calm waters in a sea or ocean or lake and the waves as they gently toss to and fro on the beach? Do you get a quiet, calm and peaceful feeling? How about those times when we complain and complain about how bad our job is, how poor we are, how wet and muddy during a rainy day or how freezing cold it is outside? But have we ever tried to think of how many great things or blessings we have recieved from such circumstances, I know its one of those arguments that are not so easy to take.

Well there are so many things to talk about that surround us beautiful mountain tops and valleys, amazing golden sunsets and the gift of life yet another day. God does talk to us through His creation. I am glad to be part of it. Make a difference while you can because you are part of somebody's surrounding.

Have a blessed weekend until next time observe your surrounding.

Welcome To Fingani Mphande's Blog

2007-11-17T01:12:00.000+02:00

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. My hope is that you will be encouraged as you go through it. Thanks for sharing this joy with me.
“Unless the LORD builds the house, its builder’s labour in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. “Psalm 127 vs. 1
Please feel free to read more about me at www.finganimphande.com