One thing about my home country is the diversity of peoples thoughts, beliefs and the ability of these same people to live together and make jokes about each other.
If you find yourself in a mini bus moving within the cities there is always something to laugh about either it will be a conversation with a passenger or a conversation between the driver and his conductor or just a random conversation where someone will disclose to you their whole life story within a distance of five minutes. This is what makes one miss home when abroad.
There is also a tendency of attributing any slight difference in opinion or a common behavior to culture. Yesterday I was listening to one of my favorite programs on the radio and the topic of discussion was "why married men and women these days are cheating on their spouses with some young girl/boy". In the panel were two men one in his 30's and the other in his late 50's or early 60's and two women both seem to be in their early 40's.
As these people were trying to put out reasons why this behavior is becoming common, one of the ladies pointed out an interesting point which caught my attention. She said that women cheat with younger men because their spouses do not satisfy their desires at home. She continued to say that culture has made it that men have the last say in the home as such women are not able to voice out their dissatisfaction in the home because they don't have a say. So the best solution is for the woman to get a young man who will satisfy them in return for cash.
Another point that caught my attention was from one of the men who said that after getting married to the same woman for 25 years, the woman is closer to you more than a sister as such you ran out of conversation that the only thing that remains is to discuss development like building a house, starting a business and the like with her. So when a man is in this situation he will find satisfaction in a younger woman whom he does not need to discuss investments or developments such as building a house and the like.
Listening through the program I noticed that there is a huge communication gap within the families which has led to people running away from their spouses to find solace somewhere.
Where do you run to when you can not face your spouse? Do you hide behind the newspaper or the soccer game on TV? Do you go to as many bridal showers as you can just to avoid the communication problem? Or worse do you go and find a man or woman who can satisfy your needs as long as you don't stay in the same roof?
Its really sad when you think about it because the behavior of having multiple partners is even increasing the risk of spreading HIV to the innocent spouse in the home.
Many families have been wiped out both husband and wife dying almost at the same time because of this sort of behavior.
What can we do about it?
- By working on our communication with our partners we will be able to avoid the serious issues of cheating on our loved ones (IF THEY STILL ARE!).
- Spending romantic moments, easy moments with your spouses where you are not discussing bills, or starting a business or building a house on a regular basis helps build up the relationship and gets the two partners closer.
- Small things like making a cup of tea for them even when you know they can do it themselves.
- Taking your spouse out for a relaxed evening walk, or for a nice candle light dinner, surprise calls, SMS to check how they are doing all these do make a huge difference.
- Observe your partners moods, do not make assumptions but sit down with them and find out what exactly is bothering them.
- The list is endless, you know your spouses better (I hope) so you know how to make them happy.
This is food for thought.
