TWO SIDES OF LIFE

Every day as I commute to work I can't help noticing the society that surrounds me. 

Beautiful and expensive cars cruising by on the other side of the road a man completely lost in his own world of thoughts. The man looks sad and the sound of the passing vehicles does not seem to disturb him at all. His face shows no reaction to the passersby he is really in his own world. 

As I continue walking I meet people complaining about so many things that are just going wrong in their day to day living. How they can not afford this or that, how their landlord is increasing their rent but not fixing their house. On the other hand there are those happily talking about their newly built house and their new projects, to buy more land and fields, more cars and so on.

Then I am at the entrance to the main hospital in Blantyre, all I see are sad faces, people coming from seeing the sick, others look so hopeless as they have just given up on hope. There are those who are so sick that they dont care how they look all they wish for is if they could feel better again and live a normal life.

A woman walks to me and says, " please give me the little that you have so I can buy a banana to eat". I look straight in her eyes she is hungry, her voice is shaky and she is out of breath, not from running but because she does not have enough energy to walk in the heat of the sun. She continues " I have been waiting all morning on the queue to get my medication but they have closed for lunch".

As I arrive at my destination, I kept telling myself what a life! There are just two sides of life, you are either happy or sad. Whether rich or poor, young or old, just like a coin has two sides so does life. The heads or tails of life is just  happy or sad! Unfortunately unlike the coin, you don't choose in advance which side of life you want.

What a life!

IN A 'MOMENT'

What is a 'moment'?

A moment can be defined as "a particular point in time", "an indefinately short time", and "here and now at this time". I decided to bring up all these definitions of a moment so as to help us understand how crucial a moment is or can be.

In a moment one can change their whole life in a good way or a bad way. For example in a competition the defining moment is when the game is over, then the winner or the loser is known. This is a defining moment.

How many defining moments do we have in our lives? 

Each and everyday we are faced with many decisions to make concerning our lives, and each moment we make a decision, it is a defining moment. For the decisions we make can build us or destroy us. The decisons we make can make us happy or make us sad. There are even times we have to make decisions which will affect our lives so much that our perception of life can be changed forever.

Many are the times one will say "I think I have changed" or may be someone will tell you that "I think you have changed". Even though the change might have been happening gradually, there is a moment when we decided to change, could be due to circumstances, encouters, observations just to sum it all our experiences.

Many are the experiences in our lives and each experience can be a sum of many moments that gradually define who we are and how we behave and most of all our perceptions of life.

For example, there are people who can be very insecure for whatever reasons. At the end of the day their insecurities will define their behaviour. These insecurities could have originated from moments where somebody just shattered their confidence, or the words that were said to them by someone, or their childhood and upbringing. All these happen in a moment really. In that short period of time when one was angry and said all those bad words a relationship was shattered.The moment that one fell asleep on the wheel and lost control of the vehicle. The moment one won a jackpot and became a millionare, the moment one had a great performance and the whole world recognized their talent and now they are big stars. The list of moments is endless I am sure you can add on to the list.

Remember it is all in a moment.

My life is defined by so many moments which have been summed up into experiences that now define who I am and my perceptions of life.

Moments are crucial, moments are precious, moments are meant to be rembered, and if it is a moment to celebrate enjoy every bit of it. For every moment always comes once and there will be never another moment simillar to your previous moment.

We learn from mistakes, and experience is always a good teacher and great moments are never to be missed. Remember a moment can just be a split second, a minute, an hour or a day....

Whatever your moment is, don't miss it, learn from it and move on.

What are or were your defining moments?

UNTIL DEATH DO US PART!

I am sure most of you are familiar with the phrase 'until death do us part". A phrase commonly used in wedding ceremonies to affirm the commitment of the couple to each other. After each of them affirms their commitment by uttering the words 'I do', the crowd cheers in jubilation and the emotional ones even shed a tear or two. But how long does this phrase have to hold in the marriage, is it only in the church, or only until  the couple get on each others nerves or until you find 'new love' (whilst you are still commited by the way)? These are the questions I wanted to share with you today and also possibly hear your views on the issue.

To begin with, I will ask the question, why do we get married or should I say commited to someone? Is it because we love them, because we want to, because its in fashion, for the sake of status, or just because you have been in the relationship long enough and you just want to make it official? Which ever reason you had when you chose to get married should have been strong enough to be worth the word 'until death do us part' I hope, becuase if it wasn't worth the words then one has to revisit why they took that oath at the altar in the first place.

I believe one should get married when they have really made up their mind to and not because something or someone is forcing them to. In this day and age where divorce is so rampant, it comes as no shock when people go and utter the words 'until death do us part ' at the altar and a month later the two are walking their separate ways. One wonders then why did they have to waste all that money, take an oath before God and men (people) and now here they are taking separate paths. It saddens my heart when this happens because most of the times these are people who wanted their marriage to work, and wanted to spend the rest of their life time together but alas! it didn't happen. There are always reasons as to why people had to separate, ranging from irresponsible spouses in all manner of ways to  those spouses caught cheating.

Talking about cheating, I think this is one of the major reasons that relationships and marriages have landed on the rocks and finaly break ups. Why do people who once loved each other so much, up to  the point of taking the oath at the altar finally feel like they can't spend the rest of their lives together anymore?  Most of the times its beacuse one of the spouses feel cheated and have lost the trust they had in their partner. Many times its because the spouse has been caught cheating with another man/woman.

How do we define cheating then, and how does one begin to cheat on their loved one? Is cheating only when you are caught with another man or woman other than your wife, or can it be that one can be cheating whilst they are still with their partner but their love and commitment is with someone else. Here I am talking of a spouse who is imagining someone else in their arms whilst they have their partners with them.  Which ever the case cheating is cheatining, there are no two ways about it. 

Here is an example, you are walking in town and you meet this lady or man who is everything you have ever wished for in life (knowing that usually when you get married with someone they are not always 100% what you wanted lol!). Anyway so this lucrative opportunity presents itself to you, you have the choice to say yes to go ahead with the cheating or no, I dont want to do that. In most cases cheating does not come in such circumstances because you know that if I do this I willl be cheating (unless your conscience is completely gone). Usually cheating comes in ways we never thought of and most of the times people will not realise that they are drifting into the cheating waters until they are up to their neck in the mess. The interesting thing is that every man/woman is tempted when his or her own desire lures them. In this case people will cheat with something less lucrative and presumably easily satisfies their desire instantly (quoted from a discussion with EK). Does this sound familiar????

If we follow the cheating process this is how it goes:


 I am being lured (thought). I don’t care (brushing the thought off). I am going ahead (decision time). OOOPs I am cheating (final decision).You entertain subconsciously, then WHAT THE HELL DO I THINK AM DOING? (Realisation, eye opener).Then  you hit the BRAKES!! 

Sometimes when we hit the brakes its too late because we are too deep in the mess.

Come to think of it, who do you mind when it comes to cheating? Is it yourself, your spouse or your family, how about the person you are cheating with?
  
Usually you find that during the cheating process people find a  person who thinks that you don’t have a family or shall we say thinks that you are not committed and is acting innocently. Somewhere down the line the chemistry has started and then the innocent person you are cheating with realizes you are a commited person and at this point you have cheated two people.How would you feel?


The moment you take a step towards entertaining prospects of cheating, you have already gone a mile into the cheating bussiness.

Think about it, every marriage has its own problems and issues, but it is the way the issues are handled between the couple that makes a diffrence. If you keep thinking the grass is greener on the other side you are cheating yourself. 

Bouncing from one marriage to the other will not solve the problem. We learn through mistakes,  and  mistakes are part of our experiences, and these experiences make us into who we are.  Some people have had a chance to walk out of a bad marriage and land into a happy marriage and others they keep bouncing from one unhappy relationship to the next.


What a life! I hope you find happiness in your relationships.

Cherish what you have because sometimes we realize too late what we had after its gone and we can't get it back.
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Take care .

ACHIEVEMENTS

Looking through the weeks past, there were so many things to look back to and the many achievements that have been attained.

I could not help to notice the achievements of William Kamkwamba who from humble beginings his achievent is now recognized worldwide. It is in moments like these that one looks back at what talent is hidden in each one of us and is never put to use. William did put his talent into use and created a windmill which was able to help not only his family but also the surrounding community. Gathering from his blog I could not help to notice the confidence he has and also believing in himself that he could achieve his goal, by creating what he read in a book.

How much knowledge have we gathered in the past years that we could put in use? Most of us have had different opportunities and exposure to wider knowledge that if put in use could be very rewarding, but what are we doing with this knowledge?

My entry today is to encourage a lot of people out there who have so many different kinds of talents which have not been discovered yet, never to give up, but to believe in themselves and gather up confidence to perfect their talents. It does not have to be a huge thing for starters, for it is always one step at a time that a person starts walking and moving forward or backward. Let us take the right step towards the right direction. For as it is said in our local language "fumbi ndiwe mwini" meaning you are your own trainer (please if someone can translate it better please add it as a comment), its all up to you to perfect what you have. It does not have to be complicated, cooking, music, art and craft, dancing, talking, listening, gardening, and many more can be talents that can be developed. Let us not look down upon ourselves, let us work our way up to perfect our God given talents. You never know where you will end up with your talent in the years to come.

Best wishes

A future for the Malawian girl child?

Having been able to return to the place where I was born and brought up and did most of my education, I could not help noticing that things are not the same as they were as I was growing up. The life style has changed, the general behaviour has changed, so many things have changed. I remember when we were young going to school we used to walk a long distance to school even on a cold or rainy day but we still persevered because most of us had dreams to grow up and do something with our lives. I remember the teacher asking the regular question "what would you like to be when you grow up?" All sorts of answers would pop up, one would say, "when I grow up I want to be a pilot", another "I want to be a doctor", another "I want to be a lawyer" and so on and so forth. As we progressed in classes, others fell out due to so many reasons but some continued on. Being a mixed school the competition between boys and girls in class was always high and this was a source of discouragement to most of the gilrs in class and a reason to work even harder to a few girls.

Academic competition was not the only challenge that the girl child would face in school, as the girl grew and was transforming into a lady, many more challenges started to pop up. One of the major challenges was to stay focussed on studies despite the different forces of peer pressure pulling you in all directions.

Today, I notice that the peer presssure is even worse than during my time when I was a student. In addittion to the challenges I met, advanced technology and way of life, has led to girls trying to find a way to fit in the society they are exposed to. Look at this scenario, a child complains that all her coleagues in class have mobile phones and they were trendy clothes the ones that are "on the market". If the parent is able to provide all these the child will fill that they fit into their "society", whilst the child whose parents can not manage to provide these, will feel thet they are left out. It is when a girl child reaches this point of feeling "left out", that they try to find ways to "fit in". Usually the ways that are seen as solutions have also led to the downfall of many girls, most of them failing to perform well in school, hence not being able to proceed with secondary or tertiary education, early and life threatening pregnancies, even contarction of diseases such as HIV/AIDS.

How can we help our girl child then? Shall we just sit and watch both young (Adolescent) and old men (sugar daddies) abuse these young girls in return for the girls to obtain "status" that is fitting in the society? What can we do to encourage the girls so that they realize the potential they have and that short term solutions are not the answer for a better future? How can we encourage our young girls today to focus on their studies and work to develop their talents so that they can be the leaders of tomorrow?

These are the questions that we must answer if we want to save our society. With the prevalence of HIV and AIDS in our society, there is a need to support our growing youth both young girls and boys and direct them to the right paths. Every parent was once a child and every grown up has gone through childhood and we know the challenges that we face as a youth. Let us therefore take our position in the society to help the growing youth, both the girl child and the boy child and direct them so that they do not repeat the same mistakes we made. Men respect the girl child and help her to get a future she deserves, a better education, a better training, and a better life in the future. And to you young girls, stop looking at short term solutions to your problems and start thinking of long term plans. Why depend on handouts when you can work hard yourselves in your studies and or training and be able to even make more money. Why should you toss a whole future ahead of you for a short term solution while you can work patiently towards your goals in life?

How many of us answered the teachers regular question "what would you like to be when you grow up" and are so ashamed to repeat what we said we wanted to be when we grow up to ourselves because we have not made it? I know there are many circumstances that could have made us not achieve what we wanted in life not by choice, but if we have all the opportunities to make a better future for ourselves, lets go for it, work hard, achieve your best and do not let anyone decieve you with short term plans of becoming rich and making quick money while you can work towards your future and be the source of the money.

This is to all of you who know, love and care for the Malawian girl child. There is a bright future in every child, let us help them achieve it!

What a real "smile" can do!

A real smile can

• cheer someone up on a grey day
• make someone realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
• make someone realize they are special
  
• make one realize that inspite of it all one just has to smile
• soften a hardened heart
• can melt the strong
• bring people together
  
• make someone feel cared for
• make someone feel special
• show that you care
• make an angry face relax
• give you a better look

A real smile is a gift from the heart, a genuinely thought through feeling expressed in a simple way.

Have a blessed day.. keep smiling!

The Art of Compromise

In my previous entry I wrote about simplicity, how we miss the simple but most profound moments because we are blinded by our "wants".

In line with that, I thought of another interesting thing which is crucial if one wants a lasting relationship and that is COMPROMISE.

I was having a discussion with one of my coleagues today about living with people, be it in a shared household, in a community, and anywhere else. During this discussion we found ourselves mentioning the word compromise. It is interesting to note that in every relationship, be it with people at work, friends, spouses, family, there is need for compromise.

As we all know by now, each person is unique in a sense that we all have different characters and behaviour which describe who we are. The interesting thing is that even though we may be 99% happy with ourselves characterwise we may be 40% a pain to someone else. What do I mean by this? Not everything we do which is pleasant and amusing to us can be pleasing to others, and the vice versa is also true. This is where compromise comes in.

When we talk of compromise we talk of tolerating people to a certain extent by learning and understanding them. In which ever type of relationship there is need for sacrifice and patience in order to learn and understand the other party. This is not easy but it does pay off in the long run.

With compromise one must accept to give up part of what they like for the sake of the other. To tell the truth this is not easy. The interesting thing is that compromise is not only for one partner in the relationship, but both partners have to be willing to give up something in oder to produce a better and lasting relationship. If you are not willing to compromise dont expect your partner to compromise and also with the same measure you compromise for someone in a relationship you should expect to get the same from the other party (sometimes its not the case). At the end of the day there is need for a better understanding between the parties involved in a relationship in order to reach a compromise and build a lasting relationship.

In as much as we compromise in a relationship we should learn to make a "wise" compromise.

Whew! I think I stop here for today.
Best wishes

Simplicity!

I was coming from work last Friday and found myself sitting next to a lady. She was simple with a rather calm appearance. Trying to strike a conversation, I greeted her and we started talking. The usual questions followed, "where do you come from?" "what do you do?" and so on.

She from Calcutta India, and she had been in the country (where we met) for some years. Then I asked a simple but most frequently asked question, "do you like it here?"
The lady looked at me and with a smile she said, "as long as I have food and shelter, I am satisfied, I am not fussy".

I was really touched by her answer, this led me thinking down memory lane, I thought of different moments in my life where I should have been thankful, many moments which I have taken for granted, many times where I narrowly escaped harms hand but I never even took time to be thankful for those moments.

Think of how we easily forget about the roof we have above our heads, the food that we eat everyday, and we complain so much about our other wants. How we forget that there are people out there who wish they could have just a roof above their heads and a meal for their stomach. How we become so self centered and think only about our wants and forget to appreciate what we have. How we always spend time praying asking God to do something in our lives but we forget to thank Him for what He has already done.

I hope you relate with me where I am coming from and where I am going with this matter.

Be thankful for what you have and remember that there are many others who wish they would have the same things you have but simply can not.

Simplicity! As long as you have a roof on your head and your stomach is not empty, you have something to thank God for.

Blessings

Beautiful Things in Life!

Hello again.. after such a long silence I thought I could write and share with you about beautiful things in life.

There is a saying that "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" and to large extent I do agree with this saying. What do you consider as beautiful things in your life? Is it the people that surround you, the possessions that you have, the car, the house, the shoes, the gardens, the list is endless. How about beautiful moments, have you ever had a moment that you wished you could freeze and just keep forever?

Many beautiful moments happenin life, I love spring, a season of new life, new beginning and beauty. If you live in the Northern hemisphere you will understand better what spring is all about.

During the spring is when all those dead looking plants and trees come back to life, the time you see the grey of winter slowly disappearing and different colours coming out from trees and plants. It is a beautiful sight. The soft breezed, chilly mornings followed by a warm afternoon with blue skies crowns it all, it is spring! All the grey days of the long winter are quickly forgotten as spring puts colour into the land.

Friends have you ever had grey moments in life that seemed never to end. Moments you wished were over and don't seem to get over? Well, I have had those moments they seemed so long (because they were long) and there was no thought of a light at the end of the tunnel. But you know what, the light finally came and just like spring, everything came back to life and it was beautiful.

I am writting to encourage you friends that when these beautiful moments come, let us be ready to look back and cherish our grey days, because no matter how grey they were, finally a beatiful moment has sprang out of it. I know that certain moments are so grey (even black) that we dont even want to remember them, it is very normal, when time comes, when it is the right time, we will look back and appreciate the beautiful moments that came out of them.

There is no winter without spring, and there is no beautiful moment without hard and long, and sometimes even painful days. Like spring, let us begin afresh. Its never too late to start all over again. You only live once, but in a life time you have a chance to start all over again, meaning that there will always be spring.

Just as a mother celebrates the birth of her child and forgets about all those awful moments, and just smiles at the beauty in her hands, let us learn to celebrate our beautiful moments without letting the past grey days ruin them.

I wish you the very best
cheers

TOWARDS THE GOAL

There are moments in life which are a mile stone, a mark that you will always remember.
I am grateful for moments like these. I am thankful to God for such moments.

You know even in the longest and the toughest road you may travel in life, there are moments you look back to. Make sure you don’t miss these special moments do not blur them with anger and bitterness, let these moments bring a smile on your face and cherish the beauty that came out of them.

Share these moments they can put a smile on someone’s face.
All the best as you cherish your milestones in life.

A Thought for the day

Hello again...
After a long time of silence I am back, and today I thought I could share some thoughts.

It is not easy to understand people but if you can learn to live with them, its one step towards understanding them.

Life is full of surprises, and so are people, there is always something you don't know about those closest to you. So learn to handle surprises because sooner or later you will be the one surprising them.

As it is said in the Holy Bible, "judge not for you will be judged with the same measure that you use on others so will it be applied to you".. wow! It is very easy to judge others but we forget to apply the measures we use for others to ourselves. Try it and let me know if you will be as judgemental as before.

Learn to accept ones mistakes and failures instead of pointing fingers at others and shifting the blame on others. In that way one will find a better side of themselves and learn to take responsibility.

If we could have a choice we could only love those whom we care for and like, but have we for once thought of people who love and care for us even though we dont care or love them.

Learn to appreciate every person for who they are and see the best side of them and not the bad side always. Everyone has a good side no matter how bad they may be.

Have a nice weekend!

HAPPY EASTER

Hello dear ones.
I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Easter. I hope you had a blessed time, I did.

All the best and God Bless!

EVERY SCAR HAS A STORY!

This morning as I was going to work, I saw this man in his sixties. He was dressed up in a military uniform complete with a hat. He had this bright, straight from the heart smile and you could see how proud he was of his uniform. When he started walking, I noticed he had a limp. This led me thinking of how he got that limp.Well I don't know how this man got his limp but I am sure he has a story to tell.

Its interesting with the human body that every time you get hurt, lets say you get a cut or a broken bone, or any injury on the body when it heals you always have a scar. Each scar always has a story, most of the times painful stories. But as I said in my previuos post when one lives to tell a story on their scar or scars that means they have healed.

You know apart from the scars that are visible, that is the ones on the body, there are even much bigger scars that we carry which may be no-one knows about. These scars are from painful memories when we were hurt by the people we love (d) and trust (ed). Could be our famillies, friends, partner, the list is endless. These scars run so deep that at times they change our whole life. The way we view life, the way we view people, the way we view society even the way we view the world. These scars take a long time to heal because unlike the wounds on the body that can be treated at home or at the hospital, a wounded heart, no one will know until the victim opens up to tell the story. As such most of these wounds in the heart, they create such a big scar because they take the longest time to heal.

I dont know what wounds you have or what scars you carry with you, I can not say I can even begin to understand or imagine how much pain you have endured from that scar, but all I can say is tell the story of that scar. Let it out, if you cant tell anyone then just tell it to yourself once more and let it go. You will be amazed at what you managed to go through, how strong a fight you put up, and just how strong willed you are that you were able to overcome and live to see this day.

The bible says that there is no temptation that comes to man that can not be overcome, you can never be tempted beyond what you can bear or manage. Have faith and beleive that God is by your side and is with you all the time.

The scars in your life can be an encouragement to someone. Think about it, if you can, tell the story of your scars.

All the best!

APPRECIATE EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE

Hello again, I thought we share some thoughts and insights today. Do you ever look back to your childhood, or let me say your past? Well I do, and I thought we encourage each other today by these words.

Even if the day has been so hard, the week has been so difficult, the month has been the longest and the year has been the most difficult and terrible year and you are able to look back and say this, then you have all the reason to be thankful for you have overcome.

Overcoming does not mean always winning, overcoming is when you accept your situation and you focus not on the problem but finding a way forward. Overcoming is when you accept defeat and work towards a second chance. Overcoming is when you can look back at a painful past and be thankful that you managed to live through it. Overcoming is when you have the faith and stand on what you belive in even if the whole world thinks otherwise. Overcoming is when you accept that you are not in control of your life but that there is GRACE that sees you through every situation in life. Overcoming is when you believe that all things are possible even when everything seems so impossible.

The Bible says "All things are possible, only believe"

In chrsit we are more than conquerers, I believe in God and I beleive that if it was not for His Grace and Mercy, I would never be where I am today. I appreciate everyday of my life and I look back and thank God for where I have come from and where I am going.

Life is a journey, even though everyone walks alone, one can chose to walk with God. In that way even if one encounters the highest mountains there is always someone to hold your hand, when óne is in the deepest low, there is someone to pull you out and when one is so happy and high in the clouds, there is someone to hold you down so you are not carried away by the wind.

Life is interesting, depending on what angle you look at it, it always looks different.

All the best as you walk your journey!

A GOOD and TRUSTING FRIEND WHO CAN FIND

Hello again, as usual I am back with some thoughts I thought we could share. As you read from the title, today I want to discuss on the issue of friendship.

I am blessed to have a few friends, and when I say friends, I mean those who pick me up when I am down, those who are there for me and with me be it in good times or bad times, those who love me when I am at my best and love me when I am at my worst. The list is endless, but the most important of all is that these people whom I consider to be my friends, they are those who will tell me the truth even if it hurts, because they do it out of love.

Living away from home I have realised that in the multitude of people that surround us and laugh with us, the multitude that we meet on different networks, be it facebook, hotmail live, yahoo live, my space and many more, only few are real friends.

One preacher put it simply that in the world we have different types of people, we have confidants, these will be people whom you can trust and discuss your life matters and important issues with because you TRUST them and they TRUST you.
Then you have comrades, these are those friends who are with you for a certain cause, simply you are fighting the same battle, and when that battle or common cause is over so is the friendship.

Then you have colleagues, these are people you find yourself with at work, in church or other gatherings. People you can chit chat with about nothing really than just the things that you share in common, work, church, sports, politics and all common social matters.
From this list of different people that we meet everyday it is very important to know whom you are dealing with, whether its a confidant, a comrade, or a coleague.

A comrade will leave when the cause is over, a coleague will be with you only when its comfortable to be with you, a confidant will always be there to listen and talk to you, and a true friend will always be there for life.

True friends will still remain whether you be separated by distance, whether things are good or bad in your life, they will find time to be with you, to care for you and love you.

When you find a true friend you are blessed, becuase they are a rare commodity.
I am blessed to have people who have been friends and are still friends and have stood with me through the test of time. I cherish them so much. We have stood by each other through so many situations.

May we cherish the friends we have and also know what type of people surround us, so that we know how to relate with each one of them appropriately.

Until we meet again, cherish the FRIEND (S) in your life.

IT IS WHAT LIES WITHIN THAT MATTERS!

Yesterday I managed to find myself enjoying a great dinner with a company of friends.
Several things happened at this dinner that challenged me and caused my mind to get to work.

The first thing that set me thinking was when the couple that invited us out to the dinner said that "you are our friends and we thought we could treat you to a dinner in a nice restaurant". I did not know that that's how this couple felt about me. They considered me a friend even though we only interacted a few times at church, I was humbled.

Then I started thinking how many people love and care for us that we don't even know about? Is it possible that there are people whom we ignore and yet they could be the very people that love and care for us the most? How can one tell? I thought of how many people could be hurt by our actions when we do not pay attention to them and yet in their hearts they consider us as friends but we don't realize it. Life is interesting.

The second thing that set me thinking was one of the conversations that we had around the table. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Durian fruit, it is a fruit from Southeast Asia which is famous for its strong odor and great taste. You can read more from Google about the Durian fruit. So the story was centered at how bad a smell this fruit has and yet its insides are so delicious. The Durian fruit has a very rough coat of thorns which cover the outside of the fruit and a soft and fleshy inside with amazing taste.

This sent me thinking about the people we interact with in our day to day lives. Some of them have the best looks outside that everyone thinks they are very nice people characterwise on the other hand you have people with scary looks and difficult to approach and everyone would associate them with being terrible characterwise.
And yet the opposite could be true most of the times. The story of the Durian fruit made me think that there are people who could be the sweetest and kind people behind the scary mask and at the same time there are also people who could be the inside out of the Durian fruit. What I mean is that there could be people who are sweet in appearance but they could be the most terrible people you could ever meet and vice versa.

As the saying goes "you can't judge a book by its cover", I hereby agree that may be we could consider learning and knowing people more before we judge them.

Try it, you will be amazed at what lies within!

WHEN DO YOU LET GO?

Hi friends, I hope you have started the year at a good note.
I was out with a couple of friends today one of the topics that we had a good laugh on was at indicators in a relationship. To simplify what I mean by indicators in a relationship one could just put it in a question "when do you let go?"


Yeah, that is one tough question to ask especially if it concerns someone you have grown to love and like. Ideas were bouncing back from one person to another with bursts of laughter in between as we chatted.

On my way back home I thought more and more about it, when should one let go, should it be at the flash of a red light or should it be when the light is amber (the red being no turning back and amber meaning one still has to decide, more like 50:50 situation).

In my experience letting go is one of the toughest thing I have and had to do, it hurts, you wish things could have gone the other way, you think if only you had done things differently, it is painful.

Does one really have to go through this? In letting go people can lose their self confidence or gain it, in letting go people's lives either get better or worse, in letting go sometimes peole's perceptions about life and love, respect and joy, happiness and sorrow change forever.

The main question still remains, when do you let go? Should you wait until you get a slap in your face and then you know its over or should you just let go when the signs start showing?

Have you ever had a feeling that someone likes you and or loves you then suddenly you get this slap right in between your eyes that its not like that. Ouch that hurts! What do you do then, do you still hang on or its time to let go? Do you take another chance or do you just walk away?

Well I suggest one has to follow their heart, when you feel its time to let go, then let go, and if you have to persevere and try to work on it, then go ahead and take a chance. Whether one has to walk away when the light is amber or red that is a personal choice.

The most important thing is that when you see the signs to let go, then its good to let go. It is very important though never to jump into conclusions, try to understand the situation well before you make a conclusion.

All the best as you go on in life and make the decisions.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS????

Friends, country men, brothers and sisters, let me start by thanking God that He and He alone by His love, mercy, faithfullness and kindness has seen us through into this new year 2009.

Thanks to all of you for being part of my blogging community and I look forward to being with you this year.

Well most people, if not everyone make new year resolutions, which are either followed or broken within the very first few days or weeks into the new year. Whatever resolutions you have made, I wish you all the best as you follow them or break them. Most important of all is to start this year with a purpose. Live every day as if it was your last day, dont miss on loving others, showing kindness to others, and dont miss every oppotunity to do the best you can in every situation.

Be the best you can be to others and to yourself, thinking carefully on each and every move and decision that you make. Remembering that its not only about you always, there are other people too.

Learn to appreciate others and make use of each and every opportunity that you are faced with. Whether good or bad a situation may be, there is always a lesson to be learned, something to look back to and most of all, it is an EXPERIENCE.

Life is full of different opportunities and situations, going through everyone of these always leaves memories and marks in our life. This is what I call life EXPERIENCES. You can never put them on a CV for display, you have them within you, chapters and chapters. As you can use a CV to find yourself the right job, use your life experiences to find out how well you can help others in the society who need someone with your kind of experience.

I wish you all the best as you start this year 2009.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009.