Sunday 18 January 2009

WHEN DO YOU LET GO?

Hi friends, I hope you have started the year at a good note.
I was out with a couple of friends today one of the topics that we had a good laugh on was at indicators in a relationship. To simplify what I mean by indicators in a relationship one could just put it in a question "when do you let go?"


Yeah, that is one tough question to ask especially if it concerns someone you have grown to love and like. Ideas were bouncing back from one person to another with bursts of laughter in between as we chatted.

On my way back home I thought more and more about it, when should one let go, should it be at the flash of a red light or should it be when the light is amber (the red being no turning back and amber meaning one still has to decide, more like 50:50 situation).

In my experience letting go is one of the toughest thing I have and had to do, it hurts, you wish things could have gone the other way, you think if only you had done things differently, it is painful.

Does one really have to go through this? In letting go people can lose their self confidence or gain it, in letting go people's lives either get better or worse, in letting go sometimes peole's perceptions about life and love, respect and joy, happiness and sorrow change forever.

The main question still remains, when do you let go? Should you wait until you get a slap in your face and then you know its over or should you just let go when the signs start showing?

Have you ever had a feeling that someone likes you and or loves you then suddenly you get this slap right in between your eyes that its not like that. Ouch that hurts! What do you do then, do you still hang on or its time to let go? Do you take another chance or do you just walk away?

Well I suggest one has to follow their heart, when you feel its time to let go, then let go, and if you have to persevere and try to work on it, then go ahead and take a chance. Whether one has to walk away when the light is amber or red that is a personal choice.

The most important thing is that when you see the signs to let go, then its good to let go. It is very important though never to jump into conclusions, try to understand the situation well before you make a conclusion.

All the best as you go on in life and make the decisions.




3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just let go when you want to let go. you know you have been insecure all along. you know you are afraid things wont be ok for you. You know you are afraid to face your future.

But before you let go answer the following questions:
1. what am I letting go of?
2. why am I letting go?
3. Am I being rational?
4. Have I forgiven?
5. Are my standards not childish and unrealistic?
6. who wants me to let go?
7. Am I selfish?
8. What wrong did I do?
9. Can I forgive myself?
10. Is this decision Godly?

Unknown said...

Wow! I like this comment.. those are tough but very important questions one has to ask before letting go!

WildMagic said...

Whoa...I am going to draw the ire of the romantics with this comment.

DISCLAIMER: I'm a romantic at heart. This comment is what I learned in the school of hard knocks.

I went through this post, nodding my head going, "Yeah, yeah..." until I came to the line "..Well I suggest one has to follow their heart.." At that point, my brain screeched "NOOOOOO". Here's what I think:

The decision to stick or let go is a rational one and as such, should be made rationally. When you are in the "..should I or should I not?" phase, your heart is clouding your rationality. One of the most painful experiences you can have is when you rationally know that it is over, the other person makes it clear that it's over and yet your heart refuses to let go. Listening to your heart is only going to make you miserable.

1) When you start wondering "Is it time to let go?", it is "Time to talk.." Open, honest and brutally frank talk
2) If the situation is not clear immediately after the talk, its time for "lets take a little break and think.."
3) In that break, assess the situation rationally..don't use it to mope around or fantasize about how it should/could/would be.

Sure, the heart is important and has its place..but in important decisions, it needs to be complemented with a big, healthy dose of rationality.

/Sagar