Why Malawian Men/Women go for Younger partners

One thing about my home country is the diversity of peoples thoughts, beliefs and the ability of these same people to live together and make jokes about each other.

If you find yourself in a mini bus moving within the cities there is always something to laugh about either it will be a conversation with a passenger or a conversation between the driver and his conductor or just a random conversation where someone will disclose to you their whole life story within a distance of five minutes. This is what makes one miss home when abroad.

There is also a tendency of attributing any slight difference in opinion or a common behavior  to culture. Yesterday I was listening to one of my favorite programs on the radio and the topic of discussion was "why married men and women these days are cheating on their spouses with some young girl/boy". In the panel were two men one in his 30's and the other in his late 50's or early 60's and two women both seem to be in their early 40's.  

As these people were trying to put out reasons why this behavior is becoming common, one of the ladies pointed out an interesting point which caught my attention. She said that women cheat with younger men because their spouses do not satisfy their desires at home. She continued to say that culture has made it that men have the last say in the home as such women are not able to voice out their dissatisfaction in the home because they don't have a say. So the best solution is for the woman to get a young man who will satisfy them in return for cash.

Another point that caught my attention was from one of the men who said that after getting married to the same woman for 25 years, the woman is closer to you more than a sister as such you ran out of conversation that the only thing that remains is to discuss development like building a house, starting a business and the like with her. So when a man is in this situation he will find satisfaction in a younger woman whom he does not need to discuss investments or developments such as building a house and the like.

Listening through the program I noticed that there is a huge communication gap within the families which has led to people running away from their spouses to find solace somewhere.

Where do you run to when you can not face your spouse? Do you hide behind the newspaper or the soccer game on TV? Do you go to as many bridal showers as you can just to avoid the communication problem? Or worse do you go and find a man or woman who can satisfy your needs as long as you don't stay in the same roof?

Its really sad when you think about it because the behavior of having multiple partners is even increasing the risk of spreading HIV to the innocent spouse in the home.

Many families have been wiped out both husband and wife dying almost at the same time because of this sort of behavior.

What can we do about it?

• By working on our communication with our partners we will be able to avoid the serious issues of cheating on our loved ones (IF THEY STILL ARE!).
• Spending romantic moments, easy moments with your spouses where you are not discussing bills, or starting a business or building a house on a regular basis helps build up the relationship and gets the two partners closer. 
• Small things like making a cup of tea for them even when you know they can do it themselves. 
• Taking your spouse out for a relaxed evening walk, or for a nice candle light dinner, surprise calls, SMS to check how they are doing all these do make a huge difference. 
• Observe your partners moods, do not make assumptions but sit down with them and find out what exactly is bothering them. 
• The list is endless, you know your spouses better (I hope) so you know how to make them happy.

This is food for thought.

Discovering the REAL YOU! Is it worth it??

As a woman I spend time to take care of my hair, my face, my body, or just to sum it all, taking care of myself.

The way you present yourself in public is most often a reflection of how you feel about yourself, how confident you are and so on. This is not only for women but also for men. You know girls can tell whether or not a man is confident, and the more confident a man is about himself, the more a girl would trust them with their life.

Depending of what one’s past experiences are, one’s self confidence may be boosted or can just be sucked out of them leaving them so unsure about everything.

In my experience lack of self confidence can be costly and sometimes really costly that you spend a whole life time regretting for that lost opportunity.

A friend of mine told me a story once, a true story, about two people who really liked each other. They spent a lot of time together and did so many things together. Everyone could have thought there was more than friendship between the two. They used to hang out and do most of the fun things together but in their heart of hearts there was this big hole they just could not figure out where they stood. Sometimes they would think that its just friendship another day it would feel like a relationship was blossoming. This went on for years and the girl thought one day the guy would say something and the guy was hoping that one day the girl would say something. But as time went on the girl was not sure what was going and the worst thing she was falling in love, on the other hand the guy was still contemplating on what to do. And one day the guy came and told the girl, “you are far more educated than I am” and this sealed it, the girl knew that the future she thought was there for a relationship with this guy was bleak.

The girl thought to herself, “ what went wrong? Does this mean what that educational status surpasses love between to people? ” She just could not understand.

My friend struggled to keep a smile on her face as she knew this guy was dating someone else even though he never told her. Many were the occasions where the two girls met, and my friend was just dying from inside and she respected the guys decision to date someone else, but she just could not understand why the guy left her.

It was the man’s choice to leave my friend and go for another girl but can you imagine how much my friend’s self-confidence was shattered? Her confidence was shaken especially that this was not the first time it happened to her that someone left her due to her educational status. The one thing that encouraged my friend was her faith in God; she believed that whatever was meant to be hers will come to be. She pulled through this situation and now she looks back and just smiles at the great moments that they spent together and of course sometimes thinks of what it would have been like if things had turned differently.

The moral of this story is that my friend’s self confidence was shattered due to her experiences, and I know most of you relate to this story, your story may not be the same as the one above but you may have gone through similar if not other experiences that have challenged your self-confidence.

The truth is that each one of us has a part within that can never be changed, which is so special that even if people could try and destroy you in one way or the other, “the real you” will still stand.

God made us in a way that we can withstand so many things, that we can go through the toughest experiences in life, be beaten and destroyed but by and by we can get back on our feet. It may take days, months even many years but at the end of it all we can still stand and encourage someone with our experiences.

That part of us, the one I call “the real you” even though it has been trampled upon and its beauty marred, with time it recovers and its beauty blossoms again bringing out the REAL YOU.

No matter what the experience may be you can still get your self-confidence back. It’s a choice you have to make, believe in yourself and pull yourself back and trust that you can be the best you can be no matter what people say or think about you.

Remember champions are those who have endured and never gave up. No matter how many times they failed they tried again and again each time believing that one day they will win.

So I stand here to tell you that no-one should play around with your life, if it means you have to walk away to gain your self confidence, WALK; if it means giving up what you cherished to gain back your self-confidence, GIVE IT UP; if it means to start all over again to gain your self-confidence, START OVER.

Discover the real you and stand for it.

When a Woman Cries

Tears! it's amazing how many types or categories of tears exist. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of regret, tears of pleasure, tears of sorrow and many more. 

As I sat and pondered at all these kinds of tears, I remembered that between the male and female of our species; it is very easy to see the tears of a woman than those of a man. You ask me why, I don't really have a straight answer but I can always speculate ( I think it's allowed). Some people say that women cry easily than men because they are very emotional, others say because women are soft, while others will say because they need attention and some will say they just love to cry.

In as much as all t he statements I have outlined above may have some truth in them, most of the times men may have a wrong idea why a woman cries. When a woman sheds tears , it may be because of the issue at hand but also because of a previous issues which happened or because of the outcomes of the issue being discussed. A good example is if we take a couple in a relationship, they have been together for a while, they have had issues which were tough but they have managed to pull through. In a case where a woman has been tolerating the man so many times, each time she tolerates a major mistake from the man, a small amount of trust is subtracted from the total trust she had in the man. With time if the man is not able to win back the woman's trust in the relationship the amount of trust this woman had in the partner wears thin. In no time the woman suddenly starts crying more than usual. For every little squabble she is crying, watch out she may just be announcing the end of the relationship. Then the distance between the couple starts to grow, less talking, less time spent together and the next thing you know one of them is not really interested in the other and then its over. 

People can still remain in a relationship while they have been apart for years in their heart of hearts. In a marriage for example, a woman may still be married to a man whom she has divorced in her heart many years back. By the time she opens up and says, I want a divorce, its not a spontaneous decision, she could have made this decision years back and now she is just implementing it. And all this time the man could have just been saying my wife is getting too soft these days, she just cries for any little disagreement.

Some people may be saying no way, I think a woman is just complicated. Hahahaha I like this illustration that a male friend of mine sent trying to explain a woman: he said a woman is like a panel of switches, which you have to switch on so as to get the best of her while a man is just one switch, its either on or off.

If this is the picture men have of a woman, then you should know that every switch has its own alarm system and if you push the woman to the limit, she will just shut down either due to system overload or just to preserve her dignity and respect.

Tears of a woman; they are much more complicated than one might think.

A Woman's Cry for Help

She sat there facing down; her young daughter was lingering around playing with her mother and grandmother at the same time staring at some of the strange faces in the compound.  The strangers were a team from Malawi Television (TVM) “Reach out and touch program”, a television broadcast which show cases some of the people in Malawi’s three regions who are in need. TVM broadcasts this program to appeal to the nation and the community for help. Several people who were previously show cased in this program have been assisted and their needs have been met by well wishers who were touched by their stories.

I was sitting at home (taking a break from the World Cup 2010) when this show was on air. Today’s focus was on a young woman in her 20’s. She was sitting drawing on the ground not because she was artistic but I guess it was to hide the fear and emotions that lingered on her face. The TV presenter introduced her by name and the village where she came from. Then he looked at the lady and said; “we are here because we have heard that you have a problem and you would like to appeal to the nation for help”. 

The lady looked up and said; “yes I have a problem”.

“What is the problem?” The presenter asked, and the lady narrated her story.

Upon reaching puberty, her breasts started growing bigger and bigger and they never stopped growing since. One could not miss the pain and despair in her eyes. I watched eagerly to hear more of this sad tale. The presenter looked at the lady, he hesitated for a moment for the question which was about to follow needed proper thought and had to be constructed appropriately so as not to offend the lady or the viewers. He then asked the lady if she could show the viewers what her problem was. The lady did not hesitate, she snapped open her blouse and what a sight it was!  For every woman who was watching this show their hearts must have sunk. I starred at the screen in shock, I felt sad and I just could not imagine that breasts could grow that big and look so different.  Her breasts were hanging down below her belly button. The nipples were not visible at all because they were somewhere underneath the hanging breasts. She told the presenter that she has troubles breast feeding as she has to twist the breast to find the nipples so that the child could feed. The comfortable position she could breast feed was when she was lying on her back. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be (ladies)?

As the presenter continued with the interview it was revealed that she was married and the husband only came home when he had no money but spent most of his time somewhere else. The sad part was that this girl is still married to this man because she needs someone who can buy her some everyday needs. I felt sad, can you imagine the pain and rejection this woman must be feeling?

Further on I learned that this lady had been taken to hospital several times and the doctors could not figure out how to fix this problem. The grandmother and relatives then took her to traditional doctors to find out if this problem was something to do with witchcraft. The traditional doctors said that there was witchcraft involved but they offered no solution.

The reason I have put this story on my blog is to share this story and appeal for assistance. The presenter told the girl and her grandmother that they have to resort to prayer, because it seemed that was the only avenue they had not tried. I agree with the presenter, let us remember this woman in our prayers so that God can touch her and heal her situation. Not only does she need prayer but also any kind of help one can offer because she is struggling to do anything because of the big breasts. She can not farm because her breasts hang to the ground all in all she lacks a lot of day to day supplies.

The pride of a woman is in how she feels about herself, if she feels good about herself then she can easily mix in the society. This young lady has lost all hope and self confidence. The husband’s behavior makes her even feel worse about herself. What can we do to help?

Let us put our heads together to pray and ponder, so that one day this girl shall tell us another story.

For those of you who wish to help in one way or the other, please contact Malawi Television or leave a comment and I will get back to you with the contact details.

And keep those prayers going because the God we serve is able to do exceedingly abundant more than we could ever imagine.

“Stretch out a hand and lend a hand”.

CREAM rises at FCC

FCC screams for CREAM! It was a beautiful scenario, a rare combination but all for one cause to promote women in the arts.   CREAM! Women in the Arts (CREAM!) was hosting a musical performance at The French cultural center (FCC) in Blantyre . The interesting thing was that this music festival was a combination of gospel artists, urban, reggae, Soul/Jazz and other Malawian local rhythms. The women artists that graced the occasion included Estiner Katengeza, Ethel Kamwendo Banda, Maria Chidzanja Nkhoma and her daughter, Chigo (poet and singer), Rina, and Lioness. Some male artists were also featured and these were Sally Nyundo, Theo Thompson and Marko Sadiki. CREAM! is an initiative of Blackmore Creatives set up with the purpose of promoting women in the Arts.   One could not miss the faces of other local musicians who were around to support the women artists and CREAM. It was a great gathering especially that it was a mixed audience each with different taste of music but everyone seemed to get the satisfaction from the performances.   Maria Chidzanja Nkhoma, a musical veteran rocked the stage with a Chichewa song addressing the issue of property grabbing in a scenario where a husband has passed away and his relatives swarm to grab the grieving widow’s property. She also sang a song about Africa and a piece in South African language (could not figure out what the language was oops!).   After Aunty Maria’s performance the stage welcomed Chigo a talented poet with a unique style of reciting and expressing the message carried in her poetry. She stood in front of everyone and words kept flowing smoothly out her mouth as she carried a smile on her face. What struck me most was that after her recital, she sang a song (or may be she sang out her poem), what a beautiful voice she had. I could not miss overhearing the audience asking one another “akuyimba ndi iyeyo?” (Meaning is she really the one singing?). She recited her poems with a sound track, talk about unique talent!   As I mentioned earlier we also had some male performances and Theo Thompson who has taken Blantyre by storm, performed one of his tracks and gave us his dancing styles which wowed the audience. As he jumped off the stage and danced among the audience, one could tell that this was no ordinary singer but someone who knows how to capture his audience. At some point two boys jumped on stage and danced with him following the rhythm, it was spectacular.   Ethel Kamwendo graced the stage in a beautiful beige long skirt and matching blouse, she gave us her three pieces to which the crowd echoed. She managed to get everyone off their seats and on their feet dancing and singing away.  As we watched the beautiful sunset over FCC, Ethel performed her last piece and the show came to a close.   All in all it was a nice gathering and I enjoyed the performances, even though I came in a bit late and missed Estiner’s performance, I hear it was wonderful.  Estiner will be launching her album “Zili bwino” at FCC this weekend.   As I walked home, my legs aching from the dancing, I could not stop thinking of what talent we have in Malawi and what a brilliant idea it was to promote women in the arts.  The women artists who represented CREAM! on this day were but a fraction of talented Malawian women. Many talented women artists are out there doing their stuff in the privacy of their own homes, now is the time to come out and join fellow writers, poets, designers, musicians, the list is endless through CREAM!.   What happened at FCC on 20th June 2010 is an indication that YES Women CAN stand out in the arts and YES WE CAN promote and collaborate with other women artists through such networks and platforms like CREAM!.   If you are interested to know more about CREAM- Women in the arts, contact  the chairperson Zilanie Gondwe on 0991674570 and Email cream.wita@gmail.com

Life is....What a day!

Have you ever had a day where you wake up in the morning and you really do not have any expectations? You just have your usual 'drag yourself out of bed' day, eat breakfast and see what the day holds. The suddenly Boooooooom! something comes out of the blue, so unexpected and just blows your mind.

I have had some of those days, its really nice when its something good and wonderful that happens.

When these days come, enjoy them and be happy, they are like a surprise gift. Like the feeling you get when you are unwrapping a present, so much expectation and so much joy and appreciation inside. Its like a nudge in your life to remind you that all is not gone, there are still better days to come.

I wish you better days and a happy life full of appreciation of all the blessings you get. The pains are there to remind us that there is healing, the sorrows are there to remind us that there are joys, the winter is there to remind us that there is summer and the dark is there to remind us that there is day. Each painful memory makes us appreciate life and see how important certain things are in our lives.

Enjoy your day.

 

Life is....I know it all syndrome

I had a previllege to mix with a team of sports women at one of their training sessions. I arrived at the training when everybody was already there and the training was in session. I quickly changed into my training attire and started doing my 5 laps around the court.

Soon after the warm up exercises it was now time to play the real game. The whistle was blown and soon hands were in the air catching the ball and passes flying in all directions across the court. Each player was screaming something, to correct a fellow player or to criticise a bad move. In no time there was chaos on the court, everyone wanted to talk and show that they knew their game. The more the coach tried to say something the louder and more chaotic the conversation went. In no time there was a long whistle blow.. the coach was fed up!

What I want to share with you were the few words that coach said at the end of the training session. she said and I qoute, " I know all of you are great and experienced players and you know what you are doing on the court, but one thing I have to say is that you have to learn and respect the one in authority, otherwsie everything will be chaos".

As I went home after the training I thought of the society that I find myself in today, many are the times we meet people around who seem to know everything. You can not advise them even try to correct what ever they say because they know it all. The interresting thing though is that those who think they know it all, usually they don't even have a clue on how even the simplest things around them work. My point is the more we pretend to know everything, the less we learn from others and the more we don't know what is going on because we do not want to learn from others.

Life is interesting, the more you pay attention to the people around you and what their views are the more you will learn what  is going on and the more knowlegeable you become.

One thing I have noticed is that when you are in primary school, you think you have acquired all the knowledge you need. Then you move on to secondary education, you improve on your primary school knowledge. Then you move on to tertiary education, then you realise there is more out here than what I learnt from primary and secondary school. When you move on to postgraduate education, then you realise you don't have a clue about so many things. The hgher you go with your education, then you realise there is what they call specialization in a certain field, because you just can't know it all.

Take time to learn from others and let's not deceive ourselves that we know everything, because the moment you start feeling that you know it all, its time to go back to school because the world is continuously changing.

Best wishes

Life is.. It could be worse!

Hi, with the weekend approaching and also being the weekend with the pay check, things are going to roll in this town. Long queues at the cash machines (ATM), banks will be overflowing with multitudes trying to get the cash out form their accounts. Some will be going to check "kodi zalowa?", which literally means has my account been credited?.

The sad thing is that on the other side of town there is someone who is always trying to live for the day, they don't have to wait "kuti zalowa", they don't even have an account. Sometimes they even wonder when they see people queuing up at the ATM to collect cash because to them money never stays. They don't have enough to survive on a daily basis, to them there is nothing like savings. Money comes through their hands and it is quickly gone. Like sand in an open hand it trickles down their fingers and they are back to where they started, just themselves and a whole list of "problem" mountains to climb.

We can wake up and say " I don't feel like having breakfast" and yet there are those who wake up and wish they could have something to eat, but there is nothing to eat. We can choose to walk because we want to be fit and healthy, and yet there are those who walk long distances not out of choice but they just can not afford (70 kwacha) to catch a mini bus. We wake up and we can not find what to wear not because we don't have clothes but we can't find matching earings, shoes or handbags and yet there are those where the only clothes they have is what they are putting on.

So do not look down upon the people you meet around because you never know what they are going through.

What a life!

Life is ..... Realising your mistake and taking responsibility

Hi, yea its one of those days, you wake very happy, or too excited and in no time boom! something goes wrong.

In my local language there is a saying " mbuzi ikakondwa amalonda ali pafupi", which literally means when you are over excited you can end up doing stupid stuff which will make you sad in no time.

Well today I came to work in my happy jovial mood, but something was not right. In trying to fix the problem, I ended up saying somethings which were really un called for. Immediately realising my mistake I apologized and tried to make things right. I was glad I did because at that moment I got the peace of mind after the person I had offended came back to me accepting the apology.

I am not trying to show off or something but just sharing the experience because I know you do go through simillar situations.

The biggest challenge we as human beings have is not wanting to appear stupid by apologizing or just saying sorry. It is a humbling and often times humiliating experience to apologize to someone even when you know that you were in the wrong. One may feel that people will think you are weak by apologizing. The truth is you are strong to apologize because thats a bold step one can ever take. The word "sorry" is the dividing line between mending a relationship or breaking it. How many things, if you look back in your life could have turned out differently if you had said sorry?

Its just my thoughts and I thought I share them with you..

Have a nice day

cheers!

Life is... failing to choose!

Hi, today its all about choices on this page. Funny (not at the time) when you have taken a shower and you are getting ready to go to work but you can't really make up your mind on what to wear? My ladies out there I am sure some of you agree with me. The problem is not that all your clothes are dirty, or you don't have any clothes at all, but its choosing the right one.

Yes, choosing the right one is a problem. Everyday we are faced with choices on clothes, jobs, partners, friends, houses, the list is endless. The challenge is usually choosing the right one, because we are faced with several choices then we are stuck, we can't just decide which one to take. The big question that is always at the back of our minds during this trying moment is always, "am I making the right choice"? And mostly one does not know whether or not they have made the right choice until after they have chosen.

Life is full of choices, we can never live a life being extra careful or trying to make the best choices all the time. Sometimes the seemingly best choices turn out to be the worst and vice versa. 

Enjoy life and do the best you can to make the best out of your choice. There is always a reason behind every choice so cherish it.

Enjoy your day!

Life is .....Chasing for what you already have!

Have you ever found yourself looking for something while you are holding it in your hands? Mmhhmm, I can see some of you reading this and nodding your heads in agreement. Yeah, you wake up in the morning all set to go to work. You have managed to gather all you collection that you take with you to work be it bags, sunglasses, car keys, bus card, name it. You are on the door walking out and you just can't locate where you left your eye glasses. AAAAAAAAAAAargh nightmare, you are running late, by this time you are either mumbling or shouting all sorts of things and calling out for help from the other occupants in the house. The funny thing is that there is always a wise one who will tell you, "but you are already wearing your glasses". And actually it is the painful truth, you are wearing your glasses.

It is the same way in life, sometimes we complain, and cry, and seek for something that we already have but we just can not locate exactly where it is. Sometimes it takes someone else to make us realise that what we are looking for is already in our hands. Pay attention to what true friends and people say to you they may just help you find what you have been looking for!

Good day!

Life is .... Jumping into wrong conclusions!

Life is sitting in front of your computer and complaining that the internet is not working, harrassing your IT department and telling everyone how annoying it is not to be connected. Only to realise that you are the only one not connected and why is that? Because the internet cable was not properly fixed to its port.

Lesson, take time to explore and understand the problem before jumping into conclusions..

Enjoy your day!

Life is .........

Hello again, after a bit of pondering, I thought I share with you some of the things that I meet on a day to day basis. These are my adventures and observations from all walks of life around the globe. I hope you will enjoy these entries for the days to come.


I call them the "Life  is.." series. Get set as we take a ride all around the world.
cheers!

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

Sitting in class is a good reminder that there is still a lot more things that we don't know. Have you ever found yourself feeling so stupid in a group when everybody "seems" to understand what is going on and you are completely lost? Well, I have, and that feeling is so humbling, for others it makes you work harder so that you understand, while some just give up and quit! Interesting huh! Its true, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND, we do need each other.

STRETCH OUT AND LEND A HAND

I have been following the tragic events of Haiti and it's really a sad and heart breaking situation. In a matter of minutes their lives were turned upside down, everything just changed; it was a dawn of a new chapter. I could imagine that everyone was just running their day to day life as it was supposed to be when the unexpected event happened. An event that took peoples' lives, made some widows and others widowers, left children orphaned and some crippled for life. I call it a new chapter in these peoples' lives because after surviving and going through such an experience life is never the same.

This led me thinking of the tremors that we have had in one of our districts in Malawi. The abnormal earthquakes that went on for days increasing strength with each new strike have changed many peoples' livelihood in Karonga. Many people were left homeless and desperate. They lost all they had, they lost their life savings, and some even lost their loved ones. Those wh still have their houses standing have resorted to sleeping outside as it is not safe to sleep in their weakened structures.

Can you imagine waking up and find that all you had is gone; your family, your house, your job just everything. When a disaster strikes it really does leave a mark in one's life.

I think of the wars going on around our continent of Africa, this is another sorry sight. Children who have been made to do unthinkable things as child soldiers, children taking up adult responsibilities whilst they are very young. Children who have seen things that even some of the adults who are in their 90's have never experienced. These children will grow up yes but the painful scars they carry within their minds will always be there. Life is never the same, their thinking is not the same, and their approach to life is not the same. So much hatred, so much anger, so many memories they wish they could just delete from their lives permanently.

How can we help, is there anything we can do to help?

GOOD MORNING??

I was sitting and having a round table chat with a couple of friends and we found ourselves talking about annoying things that happen when you are asleep.  I am sure many of you already have your thoughts wandering trying to pinpoint what could be so annoying when you are asleep.

I thought I list out a few of the annoying stuff which I found pretty fascinating. If you are a light sleeper the howling of dogs in the middle of the night can be quite a put off and a good wake up call. But this can not be compared to have a furry thing right in your face when you don't have a cat in your own house, yes I was reffering to a stray cat when I said a furry thing.

In places where we have guards at night there is nothing more annoying that hearing your guard and that of your neighbour cracking jokes at 3am in the morning. Its kind of good in a way because you know that they are awake and hopefully keeping watch and not sleeping, but I dont think its amusing for the one who is trying to enjoy their morning sleep.

Finally our African natural alarm, the cockrel, there is nothing that can drive your sleep away earlier than it came than a cock crowing at 2am and every 15minutes until dawn. And if you have several in the neighbourhood you will surely be awake on time. 

I am sure you have your own experiences, please share them if you are willing. I am sure we would love to share in the laughter.

Enjoy a peaceful sleep.

The Woman and the Society

A woman is respected by society from the way she handles herself in public, how she treats the people that surround her, and most of all how she cares about her surrounding (these are the author’s views).

While two decades ago women were confined to certain jobs (thought to be suitable for women), in this fast and dynamic world, women have found themselves going out of the confinement and pursuing their desired careers. This has led to women spending more years of studying and becoming more ambitious to achieve higher and greater goals than they used to two decades ago.

In the last decade we have seen Africa produce one of the first woman president, vice president, a high number of women in the cabinet, and more women engineers, pilots, lawyers, scientists, gardeners, farmers, drivers, army officers, police officers, managers, pastors, the list is endless.

The question I ask is what has brought about this change? How could a society that once had stereotyped jobs allow for this kind of change?

I do not know the answer myself, I can only speculate on a few ideas.

First of all it is possible that the norm that was there several years ago that women were supported by their husbands once married has taken a new turn. Either the husbands have stopped caring enough for their women especially those at home (house wives) hence the women saw the need to catch up. Many are the incidences of working class men cheating their wives/partners with their workmates. This results in the men spending more time and money maintaining their external affair whilst their household (wife and children) suffers. In this regard some women who have gone through this sort of relationship have encouraged their children especially girls to work hard so that they can achieve higher in life and stand on their own. Sometimes the initiative is not from the mother herself but from the girl child who has grown up seeing her mother suffer from a non-supporting husband leaving her (the mother) struggling with the children.

Secondly the issue of promoting women participation in different fields of work within the society has also encouraged women to aim high. This is because this initiative has shown that women also have a potential and important role to play within the society. This has given women a sense of belonging within the society and has helped them to believe in themselves that they can do something to help their society. Some jobs which were male dominated have become more interesting with the participation of women as the women bring in a certain charm to the job. We have seen the flexibility of certain jobs like having a male nurse, a female diver, a female pilot, and so on. Don’t forget that for those jobs where you need a uniform, the women make the uniform look better (azimayi woyeeeeeeee!).

Thirdly the high cost of living has forced some men to encourage their wives to find something to do so that together they can make ends meet. Families which think in this way have also encouraged their girl child to work hard and achieve better. And for the single women, the need to support one self has led to more women aiming high so that they can earn more to make a living.
I must say for whatever reason women have decided to pull up their socks and take part in building their society, let us not give up on them. Let us as a society continue to support these women to reach their goals.

Women, continue aiming high; remember the sky is the limit.

Best wishes in the new decade!

WELCOME TO A NEW DECADE

Happy New Year to all of you who have been following this blog and those just joining.

I am sure the previous decade has left you with loads of experiences, achievements snd so many more.

I wish you the very best for this year 2010 and the new decade we have started.

All the best and God Bless

Nya Mphande