Hello friends, as you may have noticed this month of March we have discussed a few issues concerning women I thought to crown it all we look at the CRUCIAL matter, RELATIONSHIPS.
What kind of relationships am I talking about? Today I will focus on boy-girl or shall we say man-woman relationship. And this is not just male or female friends at work or church, I mean relationships which if they work out will culminate into husband and wife.
This is an issue which I have thought about for a while and being female myself and in talking with my female friends and coleagues I realise that there are so many things that happen in a friendship between male and female counterparts which may lead to a one thinking they are in a relationship (both male or female member) while in actual sense there is none.
What am I trying to say here, friends (of the female gender) we have to be careful with what we conclude out of friendships. Let us not let our emotions betray us into thinking "oh because Mr J walks with me to work everyday or calls me twenty times a day then he is in love with me" NO! thats a non starter, unless you and MR J sit down and discuss what your friendship is all about there is nothing like a relationship there. You will be shocked that Mr J does not even think about you that way. This line of thought has led to so many disastrous endings of women getting pregnant and Mr J saying " I am not interested in you". So you know what that means single parenthood and emotional trauma that you will live with for the rest of your life. To make it worse with the HIV floating around in our world, Mr J could actually deliver an extra present with the baby, HIV and this means a troubled life for the baby and a bleak future for you as a woman.
It has also happened that women end up making wrong choices in their career because as they plan of their future they plan it with Mr J in the back of their heads while on the other end Mr J is only thinking about himself and you are not part of his plan. So let us be honest with ourselves, if we are not sure whether we are in a relationship or not, then most likely we are not and its high time to discuss with Mr J.
I am not saying that having a relationship is a wrong thing, but thinking that you are in a relationship with someone without agreeing with that person, that is WRONG.
Someone will say "but you know sometimes things just happen", yes I agree sometimes things just happen but think before you "LEAP". Relationships can be fun and rewarding if the basis of the relationship is good and is based on a mutual agreement between you and Mr J.
Women let us wake up and think about ourselves and our future. Lets make sure that we are in the right relationship. Let us not rush into getting Mr J just because Miss P got herself a Mr J. Her time is not your time. Your time will come just hang in there, there is no need to rush, there is always a time for everything.
Men this is also something you can chew on. Well you may not get pregnant but you can surely contract HIV and end up in relationships that are painful and traumatic.
Untill next time, Stay Blessed
3 comments:
Hi Fingani, Spot on!! This article is very interesting. Being a young woman in a new relationship I must say that I have gained something out of it. Many thanks.
It is interesting how you only looked at this widely controversial issue from one point of view(woman's). Most of the time good men get the famous reply from a woman; "I JUST LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND", after she has led you on for a long period of time.
All the time you showed her that you are caring, respected her, be there for her anytime she needed you, and patiently listened to her when she needed someone to talk to.
The moment you wanna make it official/get serious, she give you the famous words "I JUST LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND".
Situations like this just make the few good men more and more believe that 'women don't want a man that care about them'; they only dream about a good man. Woman only want a man that can emotionally scar them ; as a result they tend to take revenge on all the good men (Peter pays for Paul).
My advice to all ladies is that accept a man who truly cares about you, not one that you dream of, because its only a dream.
Ask your Mothers and 99% of them will tell you that they never ended up with their dream man. A dream man only comes true in Hollywood Movies/Films(it is fabricated).
Women need to make a caring man become their dream man, and not just use him as a comfort zone or a crying billow.
Men also get treated unfairly in this friendship relationship thing.
Nuff Respect to all women..
PaPa Bee.
'how can two walk together unless they agree?'amos 3:3
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